Are You Dating A Dude Who’s Addicted To Bragging? 14 Signs He’s Up His Own Ass

You’re on a date with a guy who makes your blood pressure hit the roof. Instead of trying to make a great impression by being a decent, down-to-earth dude, he’s so in love with himself it’s put you off your meal. Ugh. Here are 14 signs you’re the victim of a braggart.

  1. He’s all about the brag. As the term suggests, the braggart is a guy who loves to brag about himself. If he could get paid every time he spoke highly of himself and his achievements, he’d be a millionaire by now. So lame.
  2. He probably records voice notes a lot. The braggart loves the sound of his own voice. You can tell by how he goes on and on about himself. It feels like you’re watching a play and he’s the only star of the show. Check, please!
  3. He puts you downWhat makes the braggart such a nuisance is that he doesn’t only boost his own achievements, but tries to one-up everyone else’s. When he mentions he’s had a book published and you say you have also, he’ll try to show you why his book and his publishing deal are better. When you mention you’ve also gone on a hot air balloon ride, he’ll tell you that his was better because it was in Tanzania.
  4. He’s loud. The braggart will be the loudest, proudest guy in the room, much to the despair of everyone else who has to listen to him. He craves attention, even if it’s for being an arrogant douchebag. What a loser.
  5. He’s king of the humble brag too. He doesn’t only brag about how great he is, but he loves to “humble brag.” This is when he’ll talk about his misfortune in such a way that makes it sound like he’s actually just using it as an opportunity to brag. For instance, he’ll talk about how he owns a Ferrari but it’s so difficult because he worries about it getting stolen every night. Shame. Or, he’ll talk about how crummy his first-class seats were on a recent trip to Paris.
  6. He’s not there. Sure, he’s sitting right across from you looking all confident and hot, but he’s not even paying attention to you. When you voice a thought or opinion, he brushes it off or just moves onto something else like you don’t matter. He’s really on a date with himself.
  7. He disses you when you disagree. If you happen to disagree with him about an issue, he’ll ignore you even more, so you end up having to talk over him to tell him what you think. Ugh, these dates should come with a referee, and this guy’s got to get a red card.
  8. He’s the star of q&a. First dates are about getting to know each other by asking each other questions, right? Someone give the braggart a memo, please! This guy loves answering your questions but he never asks you anything. If he does, he’ll do so in a way that enables him to get off the topic of you and back onto himself ASAP. For instance, he’ll say, “You’ve also been good, yeah?” That’s not a real question to find out how you are because he’s answering your question for you and doesn’t even sound like he gives a damn! Jerk.
  9. He puts the ‘i’ in imbecile. He always starts sentences with “I”, even when you didn’t ask him about himself specifically. If you happen to know his best mate and ask about how the guy’s dancing career is going, the braggart will tell you about it quickly, then add, “I danced for years myself.” Ugh.
  10. He’s a nodder. You finally get a chance to get your voice into the conversation (miracles do happen) and when you do, he gives you body language to hurry you along so he can speak again, such as by nodding a lot or saying, “Yeah, yeah.” It really puts you off from talking.
  11. He doles out unsolicited advice. He thinks he’s so clever on so many different topics, so he’ll give you advice about your choices and life when you haven’t even asked for it! Just because you mentioned that you’re decorating your home or working on a new business idea, it doesn’t mean he needs to step in and tell you how to go about it. Damn, he’s annoying AF.
  12. He talks down. The braggart is an insecure little man-child, so he’ll talk down to people around you, like the waiter or barman. It’s part of his “I know it all” view and how he thinks he’s better than everyone else. You have permission to throw a drink in his face right now.
  13. He doesn’t like not being in the spotlightHalfway through your date, you spot a friend walk into the bar and you go chat to her for a few minutes. When you return to your date, he’s sulking or looking pissed off because he wasn’t getting your attention for a whole five minutes. OMG. The braggart is selfish and only cares about his needs. Seems he’s ordered a massive ego for mains. Time to GTFO.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.