Why Dating A Girl With A Rocky Past Shouldn’t Scare You

For many men (and, to be fair, a good number of women), dating someone with a smudged history is completely off the table. Baggage is the ultimate dealbreaker. The thing is, we’ve all had our fair share of crap we’ve had to deal with — and dating a girl with a rocky past actually has its benefits:

  1. She can weather tough times. Everyone hits rock bottom at least once in their life. What that low point looks like is very different for each of us, but it’s a universal fact that we all have to experience it at some point. A girl with baggage has already dealt with her crap. She’s been tested and survived. After having already surfaced from some painful moments, she’s more adept to navigate the tough times that lie ahead. Her past trauma doesn’t make her weak, it gives her strength.
  2. She’s resilient. Throw anything at her and I guarantee she’ll roll with the punches. After all the letdowns and turbulence she’s experienced, she knows that the only way to keep moving is by getting right back up again, no excuses. Having been let down so many times before, the girl with the rocky past knows that she alone is responsible for bouncing back and is determined to do so.
  3. She knows what she wants. More than anything, a girl with baggage values honesty, happiness, and personal growth. She isn’t willing to put herself through more crap and knows exactly what she wants. She refuses to settle. When you date a woman who’s faced tough times, you have confidence in knowing that you’re exactly who she wants in her life.
  4. She won’t welcome drama. There’s a common misconception that baggage is synonymous with a dramatic personality. False. If a woman has actually grown from her past experiences then she realizes just how insignificant the petty stuff really is. Drama has no place in her life and, unlike some people who seek it out, she’ll happily show it the door should it come around.
  5. She’ll show you love when you need it. Women who’ve experienced some serious crap in their lives have developed a deeper level of empathy than most. Knowing how painful trauma can be, she’ll refuse to let you go through yours alone. She knows hurt, feels loss, and understands vulnerability — a girl with baggage will do whatever it takes to help you overcome your own hurdles.
  6. She won’t put up with BS. After having been fed it for so long, a woman with a painful past won’t tolerate any form of BS. She doesn’t want to hear excuses or insincere apologies. She’s not here to play games. Take her as she is or walk away — just don’t waste her time.
  7. She appreciates the little things. A girl with a rocky past doesn’t need grand gestures — everything she’s been through has made her appreciative of the simple, small things someone does for her. Showing up unexpectedly with her coffee order or making her dinner on a night she’s working late means the world to her. You don’t need to give these girls the moon to make them smile.
  8. She won’t sweat the small stuff. Forget your six month anniversary? No problem! Heading out of town for your friend’s wild bachelor party? Have fun! This woman knows that there are way more important things to stress over than the small, nitpicky stuff. You certainly won’t find her getting upset over something so insignificant.
  9. She’ll build you up. She knows how it feels be torn down so she’ll take every opportunity she can to build you up. Not concentrating on superficial flaws, this type of woman will love you for what matters and stand by your side. She promises to be your rock, your best friend, and your personal cheerleader. When you date a girl with a rocky past, your low moments will be short-lived.
  10. She’s fearless. No way in hell will she be intimidated. After what she’s been through, she knows that she can survive anything and is ready to face life head-on. Sure, there’ll be tough times ahead but the future doesn’t scare her. Bring it on!
Kait is a freelance writer and digital marketing coordinator living in Toronto. She's the founder and managing of Spark Social Agency. You can find her on Twitter @kaitshiels.