Why Dating Hot Guys Is Bad For You

The hottest guy in the room walks over to you and asks you out. You can’t help but feel thrilled, but after a few weeks of dating him, chances are you’ll start to realize he’s actually not great boyfriend material. Here’s why:

  1. You change yourself. Research from Florida State University found that when you date an attractive partner, it can cause you to want to go on a diet and lose weight. It’s scary but true: women who feel less attractive are more motivated to get on the skinny bandwagon if their husbands are hot. What crap! You should never change your body or lifestyle to keep a man. Rather skip the hottie and date the nice guy instead.
  2. You mistake gorgeousness for goodness. Come on, we’ve all been there: you meet a gorgeous guy who looks like Ryan Gosling and you make a quick judgment that he’s not only gorgeous but a good guy too. A study by the University of British Columbia found that we pay closer attention to beautiful people. For instance, if the Ryan Gosling lookalike does a good deed, you might pin more value on it than you would with a less attractive guy, which further confirms your idea that he’s a good person even if he’s not. This can easily blind you and break your heart when you later discover he’s a jerk.
  3. You become green-eyed. It’s impossible not to feel a little jealous when your hot boyfriend gets hit on every time you go out in public. Often, women don’t even care that you’re there— they’ll just strut up to him and flirt. It’s so annoying and you’re likely to want to keep him indoors all the time. Jealousy makes you crazy and angry AF. How long before you snap at those women or allow their behavior to get to you? It’s no way to live.
  4. You feel unworthy. Some hot guys tend to be full of themselves, as a study published in the Evolutionary Psychology journal found. The reason is that they don’t think they need to treat others as their equals. Ugh. Stick with a guy who’s hotness has gone to his head and you’re likely to feel insecure and like you’re nothing special. It’s total BS.
  5. You’re just an option. Back to those women who hit on your hot boyfriend every five seconds. What’s stopping him from having any woman he chooses? He’s got loads of options, which can make you expect him to hurt or betray you. Being in a relationship where you’re always waiting for the guy to leave is messed up. It makes you clingy, anxious, and depressed.
  6. You end up dating a narc. Not all hot guys are narcissists, but many of them are – and they’re bad for your relationship prospects. In the short term, narcs seem to be nice and well-adjusted. But get to know them and you’ll see that they become arrogant, hostile, and cold. Ugh. They’re not great for long-term relationships, that’s for sure. Dating a narc can mess with you in a big way because he’ll put you down, have no empathy, and make you feel worthless.
  7. Your relationship fails. A juicy study from Harvard University found that hot men are more likely to get divorced. In the study, women judged the attractiveness of over 200 men from their high school yearbooks. The researchers then looked up those guys on Ancestry.com to find their marriage and divorce data. The results found that men who were rated as more attractive were likely to have had shorter marriages and divorces.
  8. You live vicariously. When you date a hot guy, you get treated differently. Women hate you or people think you’re lucky or special just because your boyfriend is hotter than a Hollywood star. This can backfire because you might feel like you need him to be someone worthy of attention. Ugh. You deserve your own spotlight – don’t settle for a guy if you’re stuck in the shadows.
  9. You become competitive. You might think that hot guys sail through life, but a study by the University of Maryland found that they’re less likely to secure a job. The reason is that they’re seen as competent, which makes other people who have to work with them not want to have to deal with the competition. In dating, a hot guy can also make you feel like you have to compete with him all the time or try to prove that you’re in his league, whether by changing your appearance or trying to be as cool/gorgeous/interesting as him. The result is you lose yourself and what makes you great.
  10. You end up with a selfish jerk. If you think that hot guys are selfish, you’re right—at least according to research from Brunel University in London that found people who are more attractive can do much less to be seen as valuable by others because they’re valued for their good looks. Do you really want a guy who’s going to take from you and never give in return? Hell no.
  11. You get bored. You might think that being with a hot guy is exciting, but it usually isn’t. If a guy’s riding on his good looks, he’s likely to have a dull-as-dishwater personality. It’s really rare to find a guy who’s ridiculously attractive with an amazing personality. An article in the Psychological Science journal found that beautiful people tend to concentrate on their own self-promotion and conformity. Boring!
  12. You doubt yourself. The same study in the above point found that attractive people are less likely to focus on traits like tolerance. Which is really bad in a relationship. You want a guy who’s going to respect your opinions and feelings, not make you feel self-doubt because you’re always being judged by a hot douchebag who’s ugly on the inside.
  13. You settle. You could let your hot AF boyfriend get away with a lot more simply because he’s attractive, which means you’ll be pushing your standards to the side in favor of being with him. A study by Eastern Kentucky University found that when women rated men, they were more tolerant of a hot guy’s bad behavior. A gorgeous guy’s not worth the drama he brings to your doorstep!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.