10 Ways Dating In Your 30s Is Totally Different Than It Was In Your 20s

When we’re in our 20s, we feel like we’ve finally made it as real adults — and when we reach our 30s, we laugh at that notion because we see how much we’ve grown and changed in a mere decade. Thankfully, much of that growth has happened in our dating lives, and looking for love is a whole lot different in this decade than ever before.

  1. We’re way more confident in who we are.We begin our 20s in college, trying to simply figure out ourselves and our lives. We’re naturally a bit immature and lost at that age, which affects our confidence levels. By the time we reach our 30s, we’ve grown personally and professionally, which makes us more confident than we’ve ever been in our lives — which helps us gain the respect we deserve when it comes to dating, as well.
  2. We don’t try to impress guys.The problem with dressing/acting a certain way in order to gain the attention of a romantic interest is that it’s not entirely genuine, and it’s hard to keep up the act in order to hold their attention. We don’t see that when we’re younger, but we learn. By the time we reach our 30s, we don’t want to spend our lives trying to impress others; we want someone who’s impressed by our real personality so we can just be ourselves.
  3. We know what we want and won’t settle for less.When we were younger, we made the mistake of settling for crumbs of a relationship when that’s all we were offered. At the time, it seemed better than being alone. By the time we reach our 30s, we know exactly what we want and won’t settle for less. Due to our new-found confidence, we know that it’s better to be single than to be with the wrong one.
  4. We see red flags a mile away and can’t ignore them.Especially if we’ve seen and endured some rough relationships in our 20’s, we know better than to look past a blatant red flag such as gaslighting, controlling behavior, or player/cheater tendencies. As soon as we see that red flag waving, we’re running full speed in the opposite direction and not wasting our time.
  5. We’re done trying to tame bad boys.We’re naturally attracted to the bad boy/alpha male type of guy, and it’s not our fault. However, it is possible to kick that habit maturity-style. The nice understated beta males might have been unappealing to us a decade ago, but they become a lot more attractive after age 30 when we’re looking for something real.
  6. Stability isn’t boring anymore; it’s sexy.Once upon a time, we liked living the fast life and not knowing where tomorrow would take us. Then, we inevitably got older. After age 30, the thought of being in a stable relationship with someone who’s responsible sounds a whole lot nicer.
  7. We don’t waste time in dead-end relationships.It could be a dead end for several different reasons; maybe our views on marriage/kids are just too drastically different, or maybe we’re just not feeling the chemistry. After 30, we know when a relationship is a dead end and we break it off as soon as we know because we don’t want to waste our time because we have no time left to waste.
  8. The sex is so much better.As women, we’re in our sexual prime when we’re in our 30s. Much of the sex we had in our 20s was just practice. Due to a combination of experience and simple biology, the sex we have in our 30s is exponentially better than our 20’s.
  9. We’re ready for a real commitment.After age 30, we’re well aware that we’re not as young as we used to be. We hear the clock ticking every day, reminding us that we have such a limited time to accomplish our life goals, so there’s no time like the present to begin.
  10. We know we’re not “crazy.”Despite the shameful epidemic of guys calling us crazy for wanting a real relationship, we know that our expectations are completely reasonable and that there’s someone out there who wants the same thing. We just have to be patient and open-minded until we meet him. Until then, we’ll continue making our single lives awesome every day.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.