Dating Isn’t Dead—Just Always Do These 10 Things On Dates And You’ll Get What You’re Looking For

The party line these days is that dating is totally dead and everyone just wants to hook up. While it’s easy to think that casual situations are the norm thanks to dating apps, that’s not necessarily true. People are still interested in relationships, you just have to know who to look for and what to do. If you always do these 10 things on dates, you’ll better your chances of finding love:

  1. Stop putting on a front and be unapologetically yourself. You’re always being told that you should be yourself, and yeah, it gets annoying AF, but you really should take this advice. If you’re too shy or scared to let guys know who you really are, whether you’re sharing your love of the ’90s or a unique hobby, then you can’t really complain when you don’t get second dates. You have to put in the effort.
  2. Don’t think you’re above small talk. People act like small talk is the worst thing that could ever happen on a first date but is that really the case? Isn’t small talk just another way of getting to know someone? Don’t freak out the next time you and the guy that you’re grabbing drinks with happen to mention the weather or the fact that you can’t believe it’s October. It’s totally fine as long as you do talk about some real stuff as well. Small talk is a great way to feel out someone’s vibe and get more comfortable chatting.
  3. Talk politics—in 2017, it would be weird if you didn’t. There’s really nothing wrong with mentioning politics on a first date. After all, we’re living in pretty political times right now and it’s kind of weird not to care. It’s a good idea to mention this if it’s something that you’re interested in. You’ll find out quickly if you and this guy are on the same page. Better to know now if he’s an NRA-supporting, Trump-voting jerk.
  4. If you had a good time and want to see him again, tell him instead of playing coy. Tell this guy how you really feel about any topic. Tell him you had a great time if you did. Tell him you want to do this again if you do. Why stay silent about something as important as feeling a connection with someone? You’ll always be on the right track if you’re honest about how you feel.
  5. Think ahead—can you see a future with him? Typical dating advice says that you should never think of a guy that you’re on a first date with as your future husband. Sure, that’s a bit much, but there’s nothing wrong with wondering how he fits into your life. If you’re attracted to him but can tell that you don’t get along, then there’s no use going on a second date since there’s obviously no future with him. It’s just being practical.
  6. Stick around if you’re having a good time. There are a few different theories about how long a first date is supposed to be. Some people say you should make it an hour so you want to see each other again. Others say you should spend enough time together to get to know each other. Honestly, there’s no right or wrong way to do this, but if you’re enjoying each other’s company, there’s no reason you can’t have an epic four-hour first date. You want to stick around for long enough to honestly know if you want to see him again.
  7. Decide how he stacks up against your previous dates. It’s kind of weird to constantly think about your crappy dating experiences but it happens. It’s totally okay to compare this new guy to others that you’ve gone out with if that helps you realize that he’s a decent person worth seeing again.
  8. Share just enough about yourself and your past. It’s tempting to want to overshare when you’re hitting it off with someone (and when you’ve had some wine, let’s be real). If things don’t go anywhere, though, it might be kind of creepy to think about this random guy knowing so many personal and private things about you. Just saying. It might be better to hold back a bit until he’s proven that he’s worth sharing this stuff with.
  9. Follow the conversation. It’s normal to approach a first date like a series of questions that need to be answered, which is why people compare it to a job interview. But what about naturally following the flow of the conversation? If you and this guy really hit it off, you might talk about the same subject for literally an entire hour and that’s cool. You shouldn’t feel like you have to find out everything there is to know about him right now. That’s what the next date is for (hopefully).
  10. Don’t leave things hanging. You’re done with wondering if he’s going to text you and wondering if you should just go ahead, right? Of course you are. Save yourself the pain and suffering and simply make another plan at the end of the evening (if you like him, that is). You’ll prove that you want to be honest and you want something real, and you just might get it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.