Why Dating Less May Be The Way To Get More Of What You Want From Love

If you’re booking loads of dates almost every night of the week, perhaps it’s time to slow down. In fact, it could actually help you improve your love life. Here’s why less is more.

  1. You focus on quality. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking that dating is all about quantity. In other words, you need to date a lot in order to make it worthwhile. But isn’t having one really good date much better than having 10 that are a waste of time?
  2. You don’t get burned out. Dating burnout is a thing! That’s why you have to pace yourself. You might be reading this and thinking, “But how can I have one great date if I have to meet 20 crappy people in order to find one of value?” Well, that’s true, but you don’t want to be so tired of dating so much that you stop enjoying yourself.
  3. You have time to take stock. If you’re jumping from one date to the next, with no time to think in-between, it’s easy to get with the wrong person — or miss the right person! Take a time-out to think about the people you’re meeting and if you’re really keen on seeing them again.
  4. It could be better to date one person. You might think that you should date more than one person at the same time, at least until things become serious then you can snip off the ones who don’t make the cut when it comes to longterm potential. But sometimes it’s so much more rewarding to date one guy and see where it goes instead of four or five. You won’t be distracted by other potential partners and who knows what you’ll find when you live in the moment?
  5. You get meaningful matches on dating apps. If you’re swiping right on everyone “just in case” there’s someone worth dating in the bunch of matches, you’re probably going on dates that don’t really matter. It’s much better to focus on the guys who really seem worth it otherwise you won’t even feel excited to meet them. And what’s the point of that? You’re supposed to have fun on dates!
  6. You don’t let dating rule your life. You’ve got other stuff going on in your life. By not allowing your dating life to take over all of your spare time, you’ll be able to lead a more balanced life. But there’s another bonus to doing this.
  7. You remember you’re doing great. If you make the rest of your life a priority when dating, you remind yourself that you don’t actually need a partner to be happy. This is important as it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that you’re not valuable enough if you’re single, which is BS. Let’s remember that there are benefits to not dating anyone.
  8. You let life surprise you. Have you ever experienced dating a lot only to meet the right guy when you took a break and weren’t looking? Yeah, it happens. No matter how much you plan your Saturday nights to encourage finding a life partner, sometimes things happen when you’re doing other things.
  9. You don’t settle. If you get caught up in the idea (read: obsession) of finding The One, it can start to mess with your head (read: make you desperate). But honestly, settling for less than you deserve is never the right path to happiness so put a “DO NOT ENTER” sign on that road, stat.
  10. It’s easier to keep track of things. Getting to know lots of different guys simultaneously might sound like fun, but it can be complicated. You might mix up Steve’s hobbies/exes/pets with Stephan’s, for example, plus finding enough time to dedicate to all of them can make you stressed out. Calm down. It’s not a race.
  11. You set better standards. When you’re dating anyone who seems interested even if you’re not that interested in them, you don’t have fun and you might lower your standards. Enough of that! By choosing to date less instead of more, you focus on what’s really important to you. And, you also know that holding out for something great is much better than having lots of “meh” dates.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.