Dating Would Be So Much Better If We Could Just Kill Texting

Texting is supposed to give us more opportunities to reach out and chat with people. It’s supposed to make communicating easier. Instead, what it really does, especially in dating, is make us feel more confused, stressed, and annoyed AF! Here are 14 reasons dating would be so much better and less of a mission if we could just not text, like, ever.

We wouldn’t torture ourselves so much. When we see that the guy we’ve texted has read our message but he hasn’t replied and it’s been hours, we start to obsess about why and what’s going on. From what we did wrong to whether or not he likes us, it can drive us crazy. It’s just such a waste of time!

We’d pick up the phone. We’d be able to say what we feel and know that the person’s receiving the message on the phone, and they have to reply right away or risk looking like a total imbecile by letting so much silence sit on the line. Speaking on the phone is immediate and fun, much more fun than sending a text message out into the ether and hoping it will receive a reply.

We’d keep the momentum. It’s too easy to exhaust a connection with someone by texting too much before going on a date. Sure, at first it feels like fun that we’re texting every five minutes for weeks, but then we realize that it’s just delaying the RL meeting. Which we could’ve just had right away if it wasn’t for the convenience of texting that got in the way and ruined things. Ugh.

No more d*ck pics! If texting and sexting weren’t such big deals in dating, it would mean no more d*ck pics ever! Woo-hoo! If a guy wanted us to see him naked, he’d have to actually see us in person, ask if we’d like to see his d*ck, and then show it to us without being able to use a filter or Photoshop on it first. Which means many guys would be too embarrassed to do it. The world would be such a better place.

We’d kill boring conversations. You know those texting convos where you’re not really talking about anything, just sharing stupid memes and filling each other in on the most boring details of your life? “I’m going to take a nap then get up and go to the gym.” Yeah, yawn fest! It’s so annoying how sometimes people text because they can, not because they have something meaningful to say.

Emojis and emotions could finally die. They’re fun and all, but if they crop up too much during texting they can be so freaking annoying. Plus, some of them are quite random or vague, and can be disturbing when used in flirtatious talk, such as the use of fruit emojis that resemble sex organs. Just don’t!

We’d actually meet up in person. This would make communication so much easier because in person we can gauge a guy’s tone of voice, mannerisms, and other body language that tells us loads about him.

We wouldn’t play so many text-related games. Ugh, these are the worst. Like playing hard to get, where someone takes long to reply to messages on purpose so that he/she can seem carefree or uninterested. So lame.

We’d stop assuming guys are better than they are. There’s something about texting that can mess with our heads. Having a great connection with someone via text doesn’t mean that we’re a great match in RL. Texting can make us feel a spark that we hope will be carried into RL dating—only to make us realize that a lot of the time, it’s not a spark at all. It’s just text static.

We’d have to end the call by saying goodbye. Remember the good old days, when people would speak on the phone and actually say goodbye or goodnight before hanging up? Texting doesn’t have that. It’s like people just pop in, text, and pop out or disappear… for freaking days. Screw that.

We wouldn’t have so much drama. It’s really easy to misunderstand people via text or get the wrong idea. Autocorrect throws a huge spanner in the works. We spend so much time thinking “WTF?” when we receive messages, and it’s unnecessary stress. Plus, sometimes it feels like people aren’t even reading our texts. Damn it.

We’d prevent toxic losers trying so hard to fool us. We ask the guy we’ve been seeing what his last relationship was like or who that woman on his Facebook profile is—the skank who’s always flirting with him—and he takes forever to reply. It’s so shady. That’s the problem right there: texting gives guys loads of time to prepare a response and think up what they want to say to give the best impression. It’s so much better to ditch texting and communicate in person because it’s easier to catch someone out in a lie.

We’d stop feeling crazy. Texting can make us feel like we’re one false nail short of a manicure set. We wonder why the guy’s online but not responding to us, and who he’s probably chatting to instead of us. It makes us freak out that the guy’s not really into us and wonder why he doesn’t want to have real conversations. And for the love of God, how are people who text “k” not in jail?

We wouldn’t kill the romance. It’s really easy for texting to kill romance. Just think of how erotic texts can quickly go pear-shaped, and how poetic texts have been replaced with abbreviations or pumping-heart emojis. We think we’re building mystery and playing hard to get, but we’re actually stamping out the sparks.

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