10 Ways Dating A Narcissist Destroys You Little By Little

Feel like the crazy one even though deep down you know you’re not to blame? If your partner is making you doubt your sanity, he might be a narcissist. Here are 10 other ways in which a narcissist will hurt you.

  1. They trash your confidence. One of the most common ways narcissists do this is by building you up with praise only to criticize you or treat you like crap to tear you down. They know how to build you up and break you down so that you depend on them and it’s only a matter of time before your feelings of confidence and self-worth take all the punches.
  2. They make you feel unsure. You never know what your partner is going to do, and even trying to predict their mood and behavior would require the use of a mood ring and psychic. This is their way of keeping you on your toes so you don’t know what to expect and they stay in control. All that anxiety just isn’t worth it.
  3. They make you feel guilty. If you trust the person and they keep telling you that you were wrong and you made them say those horrible things to you, soon enough you’re going to start to feel guilty or even wonder if you’re a bad person. You’re not! They are, and this is all part of their sick gaslighting attempt to control you.
  4. They riddle you with confusion. When you first meet a narcissist, they try to charm the pants off you. This is how they worm their way into your life and heart. After a while, they’ll change and you’ll be left spinning, wondering what happened. They want you to be unsettled, but imagine what it’s doing to your feelings of well-being. Yup, totally trashing them.
  5. They make you feel like you don’t matter. A narcissist makes it clear through their actions that they’re selfish. They dominate conversations and make themselves the center of attention no matter what, even when you have a really funny story about what happened on the train to tell them. After a while, this behavior can make you feel like you just don’t matter. Ever. The relationship is completely one-sided.
  6. They put you down. The sick thing about narcissists is that they want to hurt you. When you’re down, they get a kick out of it. It makes them feel super powerful. When they put you down, they’ll act as though it was just a joke, which further makes you feel down and unsure of what’s going on.
  7. They give you relationship insecurity. There’s no way you can feel good in the relationship, not just because of what we’ve already outlined but because a narcissist will never want to DTR. They want to keep you guessing and since they thrive on getting attention, they won’t want to limit themselves to only getting it from one victim… I mean partner.
  8. They make you feel frazzled. There’s nothing more stressful than dating a narcissist. They are desperate for attention and will pull you away from something important just so that they get validation that they’re the most important person in your life. Ugh. After a while of getting “urgent” calls at two in the morning, you’ll feel pulled from both ends and totally exhausted at having to deal with them. Who needs this stress?!
  9. You can’t do anything right. Tied into how your narcissist will make you feel like you don’t matter is how they’ll blame you for everything. When they’re in rehab and you’re the one going to help them, they’ll turn around and tell you it’s not enough. When they suck you dry of your resources, they’ll act as though you didn’t help them at all. Nothing is ever enough for this person. You really don’t deserve to feel like you’re not valued.
  10. They make you fall in love. It’s really easy to fall into the clutches of a narcissist. It can happen to anyone, even smart, intelligent, intuitive women. When you do fall in love, you’ll get treated like a pawn. The thing about narcissists is that they make you love them by being kind and charming so that they can use you for whatever it is they need. They don’t actually love you. This can be hurtful to have to deal with, so it’s best to get out the second you realize the person has narcissistic tendencies.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.