11 Ways Dating A “Nice Guy” Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Just because a guy’s nice, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to be “meh.” Honestly, we might assume that because we’ve allowed ourselves to believe some misconceptions about the nice guy. Here are 12 to forget.

  1. He’s boring. This is the most common misconception about nice guys: they’re boring and have no personality. They’re just so nice and sweet, and sometimes we want a bit of spice. But this isn’t always the case. There are many nice guys out there who are sugar and spice and all things thrilling. Don’t believe this one.
  2. He’s going to be a people-pleaser. Just because he’s nice, it doesn’t mean the guy’s a doormat who’ll do whatever it takes to make you his. That guy’s got issues. On the other hand, a nice guy who’s a genuinely good person won’t turn himself into a love martyr. He respects others and himself.
  3. He’s going to be a love-bomber. On the other hand, you might think that the guy who’s “nice” is really a toxic guy in sheep’s clothing. He’s going to come on too strongly, always wear a smile on his face, and make you feel like he’s perfect, only to ghost or cheat on you in the end, right? Wrong. Not every nice guy is going to be manipulative!
  4. He’s going to be too positive. You want a positive partner, someone who can cheer you up when you’re having a bad day. However, you don’t want a guy who’s so happy-go-lucky it starts to annoy you. You also don’t want to date someone who could be a member of the Brady Bunch. It’s just too much. Well, just because the nice guy is sweet and full of smiles, it doesn’t mean he has no edge. Give him a chance to show you his deeper levels.
  5. He’s going to shower you with attention. You might assume the nice guy will treat you like a queen, always giving you loads of attention, but that’s not necessarily true. If you choose a nice guy with healthy boundaries, your relationship is going to be more a case of give and take. He’s not going to be clingy.
  6. He’s a “yes” guy. There’s a positive, sweet guy, and then there’s a guy who says “yes” to everything because he was born to please others. The latter is not necessarily a trait of the nice guy, so don’t expect him to bend over backward just to please you. He’s nice, but he’s not stupid.
  7. He’s not always chivalrous. When you think of a nice guy, you might think of a guy who gives you his jacket, opens car doors for you, and so on. But that’s not always the case. Some nice guys don’t believe in chivalry. They might be polite and kind, but that’s not chivalry—that’s just being a decent human being!
  8. He’s not exciting. Perhaps you’ve met some nice guys who had their shit together to the point of having the same old routine in their lives. Yawn, right? The thing is, not every nice guy is going to lack excitement. In fact, spending time with a nice guy who treats you to romantic gestures can be pretty thrilling. Besides, just because he’s nice, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have excitement in his life. That’s like saying because a guy’s intelligent he won’t be able to goof around with his friends.
  9. He’s only nice and nothing else. It’s easy to think that a guy who displays niceness at the start of your relationship is going to be nothing more than nice. Guilty as charged. The truth is that he’s probably got loads of other valuable characteristics. So what if he doesn’t seem all that thrilling because he’s gentle and kind? The truth is, he’s probably got more going for him than the mysterious bad boy who seems thrilling only to disappoint you later.
  10. He has issues with women. Let’s be honest: sometimes genuinely nice guys get a bad rap because of how some “nice” guys have grudges against women. Some “nice” guys say that they don’t understand why women always reject them, which has left them bitter. But not all nice guys are like this. In fact, those so-called “nice” guys are actually jerks.
  11. He makes a better friend than boyfriend. Your knee-jerk reaction might be to send the nice guy straight to the friend zone because he’s more like a friend than a potential lover. This could be because he comes across as a great listener, someone who offers amazing advice, and so on. But wait, aren’t those great qualities to have in a partner?
  12. He’s not going to give you explosive sex. The myth is that nice guys are too, well, nice to take charge in the bedroom. Unlike the bad boy who will make you experience bliss, the nice guy is going to be boring in bed. Well, who says so? The great thing about the nice guy is that he’ll treat you with respect, without making things too vanilla. And, when he makes you feel like a goddess, you’re sure to max out on the pleasure. Bonus: he’ll call you the next day.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.