Dating isn’t always fun — more often than not, it feels like a constant test of your patience. Even the most experienced daters out there get burned out every once in a while and it’s completely normal. However, just because you get tired of dating doesn’t mean you should completely quit. After all, if you give up now, you could be missing out on the love of your life. Here’s how to talk yourself out of a dating rut.
Make sure you’re happy with your life.
If you’re truly content with the way your life is going, that’s super important because you’ll be able to gracefully exit any situation that’s not working for you without feeling desperate for love. When you do fall for someone, it’ll be a bonus and basically the icing on the cake of your amazing life.
Be open to change.
We always think if one thing changed, we’d finally be happy, despite the fact that it’s not true. If you’re comfortable with how things have been going, it’s easy and normal to want your life to stay the way it is. Of course you would want to stop dating altogether — you’re fine on your own, after all. Resist that urge. If you’ve been ready for a relationship for a while, don’t second guess that, and be ready for your life to change when it’s meant to happen.
Get cheesy about romance.
There’s a pretty massive difference between the creepy 2 AM Tinder messages and the over-the-top romance in Nicholas Sparks movies. It’s hard to think that the latter is possible when the former is all that’s happening in your life right now. However, it’s super important to let yourself believe in love again. Without that, you’ll never want to even go on a first date because you’ll feel it’s totally hopeless.
Ask your friends for advice.
It takes time to find someone you truly connect with, and it’s possible that you’ve been turning down guys because you didn’t see yourself with them. Ask a friend that you completely trust if she has any dating advice for you. Maybe she’s been listening to your dating woes and has some legit tips, or maybe she’ll say any guy would be lucky to be with you and you have zero work to do, so just be patient (that’s a good friend). If your friend’s single, she probably has even better advice for you, so feel free to talk her ear off.
Set a realistic timeline.
You may not meet the love of your life in an hour, but if you think that you’ll throw yourself into the dating scene for the next six months to a year, that’s a pretty realistic time frame to find someone you click with. We live and work by our calendars and agendas, so why not date by one?
Take care of yourself.
There’s no use dating if you’re going to treat your body like total crap, drink too much and live on pizza and potato chips. The same goes for working yourself past the point of total exhaustion. Take care of your body and mind and make your health a priority. It’s just as important as finding the one (if not more).
Remember why you’re worth dating.
Even if you’re the one doing the rejecting, if you go on tons of dates but haven’t met that special someone yet, it’s hard not to feel like a total loser. But of course you’re not. Remember why you’re an awesome person and any guy would be super lucky to have you in his life.
Break out of your routine.
When you’re in a rut when it comes to your social life, you turn off Netflix and meet your girlfriends at a bar. When you’re in a rut at work, you take on a huge project or try your hand at freelancing. Do the same with your dating life. If you’re on Tinder, try some other apps. If you’re online, try apps. Maybe some small changes will help you feel like yourself again.
Think of the big picture.
Okay, so first dates are generally pretty rough, but it’s a good idea to think about what you want for your future life. Do you see yourself married with adorable kids? Is a common law relationship more your style? Whatever you want, you can’t get it by staying home in your sweatpants. Remember that whenever the thought of dating is too hard.
Go on dates.
The only way to truly get out of a dating rut is to jump back in and meet some more people. It sucks, but since the male lead in the rom-com that is your life isn’t going to just magically appear, dating is the only way to find him.
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