The Dating Scene Is Toxic — Here Are 10 Of The Biggest Problems

The dating scene just isn’t what it used to be. Once considered to be fun, carefree, and filled with interesting people who might just be “The One,” the dating world has turned into a chaotic cesspool of losers, users, and conflated rules that make it nearly impossible to trust others. There are many, many problems with the way we date today, but some are way worse than others. These 10 are ruining dating for both women and men — and all of us are to blame in one way or another.

Fear of commitment is the norm and no one seems to care. 

I’m sorry, but I think this is a huge problem, even if people don’t want to call it a problem. There are way too many time wasters who are too gutless to actually settle down out there, and that alone destroys the dating experience for people who actually want a spouse. Having been the girl who’s been passed up because guys “don’t feel like committing right now,” I can say that this is one of the primary reasons I gave up on love.

Many guys feel entitled to way more than they actually deserve.

Too many guys lash out at women if we reject them directly. Some also get angry if we ghost them, if we don’t sleep with them fast enough, or if we don’t text them. And, God forbid a woman is overweight/otherwise don’t meet their expectations of physical perfection — it’ll result in us being unceremoniously dumped. Plus, way too many guys feel like buying dinner basically entitles them to sex. With all the expectations they plop on women, it’s obvious why some of us may have just gotten fed up with them.

Doing the right thing is dangerous these days. 

Horrifying as it is, I know a lot of women who’ve poked holes in condoms to strongarm a guy into marriage. Those guys got trapped because they chose to “do the right thing” by marrying those women. Women who choose to “do the right thing” by rejecting guys up front, however, often face verbal abuse or even a physical assault for doing so. Knowing these consequences can happen just because we were trying to do right by others makes it really hard to want to stay a good person. This isn’t cool.

We all seem to expect to have our cake and eat it too. 

We somehow all seem to think we can finagle the love and commitment of a relationship without having to be loyal to anyone. We seem to think we can get the benefits or relationships without the risks, and just get the “select cuts” of partnership without having to be there for anyone. Then, when we have partners who act the same way, we freak out.

Dating also got way more shallow than it used to be. 

For the life of me, I’ll never understand this. People, looks will fade. Seriously, they will. Just because someone isn’t six feet tall or a size zero doesn’t mean that they should be excluded from the dating world. By constantly chasing Pinterest-perfect people and moments, we forgot that real life isn’t a magazine. Dating made me feel like I was never perfect enough to be someone’s wife, and frankly, it just ruined the way I see men.

To make matters worse, dates are cheap as hell. 

I can’t remember the last time a first legitimate date started with a guy who tried to sweep me off my feet. But, it gets worse than just resorting to cheap coffees with people. There are now guys who request money from women when the date goes south. So, like, are women supposed to “give refunds” if we don’t put out? Do people even realize what an insult being so miserly is to others?

No matter how badly other people treat you, it’s always somehow your fault. 

It’s scary how often Ipeople blame the victims of abusive relationships or horrible dates because “they chose to deal with them.” Worse, people are really quick to tell others that they don’t “love themselves” enough to have a good relationship. This leads a lot of people to be hesitant to admit if they’re being abused or mistreated. Why bother when people will just tell you it’s your fault for choosing to date person X over them?

The level of rudeness that some people display these days is insane. 

If you’re the proud owner of a vagina, you already know exactly what I’m talking about — especially on Tinder. Guys have absolutely ZERO problems being rude as hell behind a screen, and sometimes, they’re even worse in person. Ghosting is the norm, even when dealing with friends. Manners are the glue that keeps society together… and we’re forgetting that at alarming levels.

Emotions today are shallow. 

I don’t really know many people who actually legitimately care about their significant others anymore. When the going gets tough in relationships, we just bail. After all, it’s not “cool” to stick by a person’s side anymore, is it?

It’s a lose-lose situation. 

Even if we jump through every stupid hoop that we’re given, there’s no saying that we’re actually going to get the love, affection, and security we deserve. So, why bother when the love we want isn’t going to be the love we receive?

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