If you don’t want kids or simply aren’t ready for them, the idea of dating a single mom can freak you out. It shouldn’t, really. While there will be some differences between dating someone with kids and someone without, it’s totally possible and incredibly rewarding to build a strong, healthy relationship with a solo parent. Here are some things to keep in mind as you move forward.
She has a lot of responsibilities. The truth is that single moms, particularly those who work full-time on top of raising the kid(s), can be extremely busy. They rarely have spare time to date. Don’t let this affect you. Spend time studying her daily routine and know the best time to approach her. Dating a single mom isn’t so different from dating other women as long as you’re understanding and never selfish to think that everything revolves around you. Also, if she does give you the time of day, recognize how special you must be.
It might take some time before she comes around. It might be your first relationship, but that obviously won’t be the case for her. Whether the relationship ended due to abandonment, heartbreak, divorce or even their partner’s death, a single mom will be much more likely to feel hesitant about getting into another relationship. Because of this, she may be guarded at first. Understand that this isn’t about you. She’s fighting a lot of demons and would need time to adjust to being with you.
It will help if your schedules are flexible. There’s a need to be spontaneous when dating a single mom. Due to her crazy schedule, she might have to cancel plans last-minute and will likely need very specific plans about your date well ahead of time. She might also be late sometimes if she can’t get her kid to settle down or the babysitter is late, but don’t get all worked up about it. She’s trying her best.
Don’t expect an immediate response. While it’s necessary to stay in regular communication with your partner, especially through texting, it may not work so well for single mothers. You already know how crazy her schedule is. Combining motherhood and a career isn’t a walk in the park. So, she may not be on the phone with you 24/7 but if she’s into you, she’ll get back to you as soon as she can.
You should make every moment count. I doubt if there’s any woman who doesn’t want to be doted on by her partner. But for a single mom, the fact that her time is so limited and hectic that when you eventually see her, you should make sure that every moment counts. Anything can come up anytime. Showing lovely gestures like thoughtful gifts, breakfast in bed, and letting her know that she’s doing great will go a long to cement your place in her heart. Also, remind her of how awesome it feels to have her as your partner. Don’t ever slow down on the reassurances.
You should be a good role model. Just because a kid is small doesn’t mean they’re not perceptive and incredibly smart. They learn a lot from the people in their environment. So, if you’re lucky enough to be introduced to her kids when dating a single mom, your first impression is essential as you become a part of their lives.
She won’t be with you if you aren’t supporting her enough. I have a friend that’s a single mom and over the years, I’ve watched how she struggles to balance it all. She’s always super exhausted and it’s even worse because her kid’s father isn’t in the picture and she gets zero help. Bearing so much responsibility is overwhelming, so if you want to be part of her life, she needs your support.
Try and go the extra mile with your romance. If you enjoy late outings, movie nights, or sleep-ins, you’d probably have to stop because of her kids. Instead of movie nights, you can watch family shows with them. You might just find that another episode of Henry Danger could earn you bigger heart eyes from her.
You should never make her feel inadequate. She’s already dealing with some insecurities, though she’ll likely never give voice to them. So, so when dating a single mom, never make her feel worse. Don’t criticize her parenting or make her feel bad about herself. She’s the best you could ever hope for in a romantic relationship. She’s courageous, strong, accommodating, and humble with an admirable sense of responsibility.
A single mom has what it takes to be a great partner. They say experience is the best teacher. When dating a single mom, you’ll notice that her maturity is on a higher level. Her past romantic relationship makes her able to understand the rhythms of healthy love. She’s focused on what to treasure, what you’re willing to give, and what you dislike because she has learned it the hard way.
Your intentions should be clear. Single moms have no time to play games, so be upfront about what you want in the relationship. If the relationship is just a one-off for you, then stay clear. As I mentioned earlier, she already has a lot going on for her and the last thing she wants is a man that’ll add to her exhaustion. She also needs some sort of stability and might not be with you if you’re all in for casual dating.
I know that society criticizes single moms a lot, but don’t listen or feel pressure from critics. You’re the only one that knows the right relationship for you. So, get to know her. What’s her personality like? Does it match with yours? Single moms aren’t only parents but also human beings with the desire for companionship.