The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Curvy Girl

It’s no secret that we live in a society obsessed with obtaining the perfect body. This is especially evident in the dating world. While the rest of the world pays to lift heavy things and run in place, some of us choose to just live our lives and we give zero f*cks if someone doesn’t like the way we look. We know that true beauty and value is found inside, but we face a lot of struggles when attempting to date in today’s society.

  1. Players think we’re desperate for sex because they don’t think we’re desirable. If you’ve ever closed down a bar and watched the sleazy pick-up artist circle the room, you know what I’m talking about. After being rejected by the skinny girls, he approaches the curvy girl at last call because he assumes she’ll be desperate and easy. Players, sorry to burst your douchy little bubble, but plenty of guys think curves are sexy and we don’t mind waiting for someone who appreciates and respects us like we deserve.
  2. Guys like us as friends or FWB but not as a serious girlfriend. Many guys, even ones who aren’t exactly 10s themselves, seem to think that no woman is worth being serious about unless she’s a stick-thin “trophy” he can parade around in front of his buddies. We have no desire to be objectified like that, even if we did change our bodies to conform to the new norm.
  3. Other women are always suggesting ridiculous crash diets. They just can’t comprehend the fact that we aren’t dying to be a size 2; we like our curves. Many of us have been skinnier and didn’t feel sexy because all our womanly assets were gone at a lower weight. There’s nothing wrong with choosing boobs over six pack abs, and there’s especially nothing wrong with loving ourselves while others tell us that we should be insecure.
  4. Cute clothes are made in extremely small sizes. We get it, clothing designers; you think the ideal woman has no ass or boobs and anyone over a size 10 should wear ugly baggy clothes to hide ourselves. Lucky for us, we really do give zero f*cks what anyone thinks of us, and we know that we can rock cute clothes just as well as any skinny girl (the only challenge is finding designers that see our beauty). We also have Stacy London on our side; she dresses curvy chicks all the time on her TV shows and does a great job with style as well as positive body image.
  5. Everyone pretends they’re concerned about health. They do it in an attempt to avoid looking like a jerk when they make fat-shaming comments, but that cover is unsuccessful; they still look like jerks to us. You can’t possibly tell just by looking at someone if they’re healthy or not based on weight alone; just because someone’s size 12 doesn’t mean they’re unhealthy, just like a person who’s size 2 may be unhealthy and eat nothing but junk food. Just stop already.
  6. We have to be picky about who we date or they’ll drive us crazy. It seems like every guy is trying to be that ripped athlete who goes to the gym 7 days a week and gets up at 5 am on the weekend to climb mountains. We can’t stand that kind of guy; we’re looking for the chill guy who will relax with us and enjoy some pizza and beer.
  7. 7. TV and magazines glamorize weight loss as if it makes a person more valuable. We live in a society of sheep, and this ideal is very harmful for us. It gives young girls body image issues early on and perpetuates deadly eating disorders. We need to be careful about the message we’re sending to the next generation, because they need to know that the number on the scale has no bearing on their value as a person or how deserving they are of love.
  8. People give us funny looks if we’re with a skinny guy. They’re never subtle about it, either. We see your judgmental and inquisitive stare, and it makes us laugh a little and shake our heads. We choose our company based on what’s inside rather than physical appearance, and that’s the way it should be.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.