The Dating Struggles Of Women Who Have No Idea How To Flirt

The Dating Struggles Of Women Who Have No Idea How To Flirt ©iStock/Eva-Katalin

You don’t know how other women do it. They’re able to flip their hair, bat their eyes, and wink without wanting to die of embarrassment. Meanwhile, if you tried to do any of those things, the moves wouldn’t go as planned. That’s why you don’t really have a signature move of your own. You’re pretty clueless when it comes to the whole flirting thing, which is why dating is a struggle.

  1. Your flirting is mistaken for meanness. You’ve heard that teasing him is a way to flirt with him, but whenever you make fun of the outfit he’s wearing, he’s not turned on — he’s simply insulted. Instead of making your crush like you more, you end up driving him away with your flirting techniques.
  2. You overthink everything. You’re so worried about looking like a fool in front of him that you stare at him for the entire day without making a move. By the time you work up the courage to actually go talk to him, he’s already long gone.
  3. You overanalyze everything. You’ve read plenty of articles on flirting, so you know how important body language is. That’s why you pay way too much attention to the way your crush’s torso is facing and how he crosses his legs. Analyzing every move he makes drives you nuts.
  4. You obsess over what to say. When you actually talk to your crush, you’re so worried about what you’re going to say next that you’ll forget to listen to him. When it’s your turn to speak, you won’t be able to reference what he was talking about, so he’ll assume that you’re not interested.
  5. You don’t even try to flirt. The most ridiculous advice you’ve ever heard is, “Just go ask him out yourself.” You’d die of embarrassment if you tried to do that. You’ve convinced yourself that you’d strike out with any guy that you’d talk to, which is why you won’t even try. You refuse to put yourself out there.
  6. You don’t know when you’re actually on a date. Sometimes, you’ll hang out with a cute guy one-on-one, but you won’t have any idea if you’re just chilling as friends or if you’re on an actual date. You’ll try to figure it out by listening to his tone and examining his outfit, but it never works.
  7. You rely on social media to flirt. You might suck at flirting face-to-face, but you’re a clever casanova when it comes to messaging. After all, over the computer, you’re able to write and rewrite your messages until they strike the perfect balance between being flirty and casual.
  8. You scare him with your staring. The only flirting move you’re actually able to pull off is looking at him while smiling. Of course, when you stare for too long, you’re going to scare him away. Then he’ll be more creeped out than turned on.
  9. You refuse to touch him. You know that touching him can indicate interest, but you’re too nervous to actually go through with the idea. What if you touch his shoulder and he pulls himself away? You couldn’t deal with something so embarrassing.
  10. You can’t tell if he’s flirting back. Flirting goes over your head, unless you’re an outsider looking in on the situation. When your friends are trying to make a move on each other, you can tell right away. But when a guy is blatantly flirting with you, you’ll have no idea.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.