The Dating Struggles Of Women Who Overthink Everything

The Dating Struggles Of Women Who Overthink Everything ©iStock/NKS_Imagery

Being a woman who overthinks absolutely everything is no cake walk. You analyze every tiny detail from the time you wake up in the morning until you get back into bed at night and try (in vain) to shut your brain down so you can get some sleep. While there are definite pros to being so introspective, it’s also a serious pain and can do more harm than good, especially when it comes to dating. Here’s what it’s like for those of us who just can’t help but overanalyze every single thing about the guys we’re seeing.

1. His text messages are heavily dissected

Whenever we get a text from a guy, we’re always trying to read between the lines for an underlying message. It’s a constant question of, “What does this mean?” and yes, we even try to understand why you used that emoji at the end of the message. Sometimes we even screenshot messages to ask our girlfriends to weigh in because we can’t help but welcome some outside interpretation.

2. Not getting a response drives us nuts

If we don’t receive a response for long periods of time, we immediately start to doubt his feelings, intentions, and behavior. “Maybe he doesn’t like me. Maybe his phone died. Maybe he got into an accident. What if he read it and didn’t respond on purpose? Why would he do that?” Just try to keep us in the loop — even the most minor details help.

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4. We like a guy who’ll take charge

Nothing is more frustrating to us than having to be the decision-makers in our dating lives because we’re already exhausted from overanalyzing everything else in between. It’d be great if you could plan the dates and not make us pick the restaurant. It’ll save us an hour of Google, Yelp searching and reading through reviews and menus before we’ve even stepped out of our front door.

5. We hate dating games

It’s especially bothersome when we encounter the “wait three days to call” guy or the “act cool and don’t talk about how we feel” guy. We would rather you call us the next day if you had a great time or just tell us straight up if you’re not feeling it.

6. We like to be highly organized because it keeps us sane

We like to have our lives mapped out as much as we can. Not because we’re control freaks, but because it prevents us from spinning into an unnecessary thought cycle. We’ve probably got a 5- and 10-year plan because quite frankly, we’ve thought about it tons. We’re list makers, calendar keepers and like to keep our lives figuratively and literally as tidy as we can.

7. We actually enjoy spontaneity

Even though we’re highly organized, we actually do love spur of the moment things. Sometimes we just like to get out of our own heads a little. Sometimes we just have too many thoughts and ideas, so it’s nice when someone else plans for us.

8. We apologize with true sincerity

If we ever apologize to you for anything, understand it’s a very calculated apology and we wholeheartedly mean it — if we didn’t mean it, we wouldn’t say it. There’s no need to keep pointing out where we went wrong, we’ve already overanalyzed that part a hundred times and don’t need to keep being reminded of it.

9. The more details we have, the more content we will be

Overthinkers love the details. We’re a little bit obsessed with them. From knowing clearly what you mean when you say something to how you act when you’re around us, we like to be in the complete know. It might seem like we’re a bit complicated, and that’s probably true, but we really do appreciate the simplicity of straightforwardness, and more importantly, someone who can handle a chronic overthinker.