Dating Can Suck — Here’s How You Can Make It Suck Less

When dating gets you down, it’s super tempting to hide under the covers with some cookie dough ice cream or swear you’re going to marry Netflix and pizza instead. There’s really no reason for you to give up and become totally miserable. You can definitely find the silver lining in any dating situation that hasn’t gone your way — here’s how:

  1. Be grateful for the experience. Sure, you didn’t find your one true love this time, and maybe you won’t next time, either. That doesn’t mean you can’t sit back and be grateful that you had this experience at all. As they say, it’s better to have loved and lost, right? If you appreciate every guy that you date and everything you go through, you’re going to have a  much easier time dealing when things go south.
  2. Make a pro/con list (heavy on the cons). When any relationship (or almost-relationship) ends, it’s a good idea to think about what qualities you liked about this person and which ones you really didn’t. You can chalk it up to a good lesson and move on, making sure you’re not going to end up in the same place next time. Make a pro/con list and make sure you take note of the cons. While it may seem negative at first glance, it actually empowers you to think differently about who you’re looking for.
  3. Cheer yourself up. Now’s the best time to treat yourself, since you definitely need a pick-me-up. Get a new haircut. Buy some clothes. Or just invite your BFFs over for some junk food and wine. You don’t have to spend a ton of money in order to make yourself feel better, of course. You just want to remind yourself that you matter and some guy out there is going to be super lucky when he meets you.
  4. Realize you’re one step closer to what you want. You’ve probably been searching for love for a while now… and that means you’re fed up and exhausted. Sometimes it feels like the search is futile since it’s so hard to find someone that you like, let alone someone that actually wants a relationship. But if you’ve been dating, that means you’ve been doing all that you can, and that means you’re one step closer to what you want: love. Don’t forget that.
  5. Celebrate your strength. If you’re getting out of a crappy dating situation because you stood up for yourself — you told the guy who put you on the back burner to take a hike or realized someone wasn’t treating you properly — then you should be proud of yourself. Stop thinking about how much he hurt you and start thinking about how well you handled yourself. You need to take a moment to celebrate your strength. The truth is that you weren’t just doing what anyone would do. There are tons of people out there who would be terrified to stand up for themselves and would stay in a crappy situation no matter what. Be proud that you didn’t.
  6. Imagine how much your life would suck with this guy. While it’s too bad that things didn’t work out, think about how awful it would be to actually keep dating this guy. If you were feeling horrible before, you would definitely feel even worse if you two became more serious. Is that what you want? Definitely not.
  7. Be glad you’re free to move on. What if you meet the guy of your dreams on your next date? Won’t you be super thrilled that things didn’t work out with that loser and now you got the opportunity to meet this great person? Be happy that you’re free and clear to move on and find someone who’s a better fit. That’s so much better than wallowing in the past.
  8. Think about everything that’s good in your life. If you want to pin your happiness on whether or not you have a boyfriend or at least someone approaching that role in your life, then you’re going to be pretty disappointed. Think about everything that’s good in your world and you’ll realize that you can get over this stupid situation with no problem. So what if you’re still single? You have so many things that other people would be jealous of, from your awesome job to your deep friendships. Remember that.
  9. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Whether it’s booking a solo trip or taking a class, you probably have a dream or goal in the back of your mind that you just haven’t gotten around to. There’s really no time like the present. This will take your mind off this guy and make you super happy in the process.
  10. Line up some dates. The best way to get over something (or someone) is to keep your eye on the prize and keep moving. In this case, the prize is a legit relationship, so why not line up some dates and try to find your person? You just might find them sooner than you think.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.