After Dating So Many Terrible Guys, I Seriously Appreciate The Good Ones

I’ve had my fair share of experience with players in my dating life, and even though it seriously sucked, it also opened my eyes to the truly great guys out there who are actually worth my time and attention. As sexy as that bad boy vibe might be, it’s almost always more trouble than it’s worth. I now know just how important it is to appreciate the good ones when they come along.

  1. The addiction to jerks is never worth the high. It’s so easy to fall for a jerk. He’s a little bit unattainable because of the games he plays, which oddly makes him so much more appealing — we always want what we can’t have. No matter how many times this appeal initially draws me in, it’s legit never worth it in the end. I’ve learned my lessons and I know better now. Took me long enough, though!
  2. Good guys make me feel genuinely cared about. Whenever I date a genuinely good guy, it feels infinitely different and almost a bit scary at times. Good guys actually care about you. They make plans with you, call when they say they will and they actually walk you to your front door without trying to get inside with smooth lines. They exercise respect. It’s a change from the stomach flips I’m used to feeling with the guys who were jerks to me. I feel calmer but more excited about where things could lead.
  3. I notice the little details that separate a jerk from a gem. I pay really close attention to the small things now because of my dating history. I couldn’t care less about a guy’s money and what he can buy me. If he’s not treating me with kindness and like an actual human being with feelings, nothing he can provide me will ever be worth it. Good guys don’t need money to prove their worth. Simply being in their company makes me feel like I’ve hit the jackpot.
  4. Honesty stands out because I’ve been played too much. Even if the truth is brutal at times, good guys at least offer me honesty and decency if things aren’t working out. They know that having a tough conversation is better than ghosting or playing me for a fool by moving on with other women without talking to me first. They might be hard to come by, but they’re worth waiting for because they leave me with a feeling of hope that love and good men are out there.
  5. A guy who makes thoughtful plans deserves reciprocation. I make sure to give just as much back to the guys who truly deserve it. If he’s making plans with me, I’m going to plan thoughtful things for us to do together in return. Jerks just don’t get this and they think that winning my affection equates to boredom and often they move on and think they can do better. Good guys aren’t into this nonsense thought pattern. They appreciate a good woman and they actually know what they have when they have it — they’re not morons.
  6. Not every guy is out to screw me over. It’s because of those good guys I’ve met that I know not every guy I meet is an jerk and it’s why I give every new guy a clean slate. He could turn out to be a bonehead, or he could be amazing. Believe it or not, the good guys make that gamble worth it.
  7. Good guys date me more thoughtfully. There’s a clear difference in the way a jerk dates me and the way a good and genuine man dates me. The good guys aren’t only calling me late at night or making sexual references early on. They’re not going MIA for days on end or making BS excuses as to why they’re just “soooo busy.” They want to get to know me in a real way — they don’t half ass dating endeavors.
  8. Good guys aren’t lazy and selfish jerks. Jerks are selfish and lazy. I know because I’ve had the displeasure of dating plenty of them. It’s refreshing to meet a guy who isn’t all about himself and only looking out to satisfy his number one agenda (his penis). Good guys date for honest reasons. They want relationships — they’re not dancing around the subject like it’s the plague.
  9. A good guy never makes me a late night option. I’m so sick of guys who only call me late at night and can’t make real plans like a grown man should. A good guy plans in advance because he knows that both my time and his is valuable. I’m not a last minute resort or a spur of the moment option —  I’m a fellow human and he treats me as such.
  10. I’m done with the jerks — I’ll take the good guy any day. I’m totally over giving losers the time of day and if one slips under my radar, I dismiss him as soon as he starts his BS. Good guys don’t set off alarms. They don’t play manipulative games. They’re normal and decent men. It might not always work out with a good guy, he might not be “The One,” but I sure as hell appreciate them a lot more because I’ve dated every jerk you can imagine.