Dating Is Worse If You Know What You Want

Dating Is Worse If You Know What You Want ©iStock/djiledesign

You would think that knowing exactly what you’re looking for in a guy and a relationship would make navigating the dating world slightly easier, but it’s actually the complete opposite. Sadly, having a clear picture of how your ideal coupling would play out makes finding it way harder.

  1. You get disappointed easily. You hope against hope that you’re finally going to like a guy, but then, of course, you go on yet another crappy first date and that hope goes out the window. You know you’re ready for a boyfriend, so it stings even more when you never meet anyone you like.
  2. You decide within five minutes if you’re into him. You’ve been on way too many dates to think that things will improve if the beginning of the evening sucks. You already know super quickly if you like someone and if you don’t, you’re in for yet another super boring night. Lucky you.
  3. You have no time for games. Ghosting, unanswered texts, relationships that never actually become anything — you’re over it. You can’t deal with anything less than what you’re looking for.
  4. You hate going on second dates. You rarely give a guy a second chance because you don’t want to waste your own time — but you even hate going on a second date with someone you might truly like, because what if things go nowhere? You want a real relationship, not anything almost.
  5. You stick to your dealbreakers. You’re not crazy and you’re not super picky, either. You just know that you want someone who’s as into pop culture as you are and that you can’t, under any circumstances, date a lazy lump who hates his job. You pretty much live and die by the traits your next boyfriend needs to have, and that can seriously minimize your pool of potential boyfriends.
  6. Most of your dates blow. You try to stay positive (because what’s the point of being bitter?) but you go on more bad dates than good ones — or even OK ones. It really sucks when you finally realize that.
  7. You bite your tongue a lot. You wish you could ask every guy you meet if he’s actually looking for a girlfriend or just a hook-up. You’re always biting your tongue on first dates, wanting to ask a million questions, wondering what’s OK and what’s way inappropriate. Ugh.
  8. You’re super paranoid. You’re not into anything casual and your guard is up 24/7. Does this guy want to get to know you or just get you to go home with him? Figuring it out is exhausting.
  9. You know it’s going to take forever. You won’t meet the guy of your dreams tomorrow… or even next month. You’re OK with that. Well, kind of. But sometimes you wish you didn’t have to go on so many random, boring dates in order to find someone you actually like. In the meantime, you’ve got your sense of humor. And you pretty much thank God for Netflix every day of the week.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.