I’m Dating A Younger Guy & I’m Plagued By Doubt

I’m Dating A Younger Guy & I’m Plagued By Doubt ©iStock/PeopleImages

Dating younger guys always seemed like a terrible idea… until I fell head over heels for a dude in his 20s. I certainly didn’t plan it; it seems like everything about this relationship was decided by a force much higher up than myself or him. Even though it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had or dared to dream about, sometimes I still have conflicting thoughts about the age difference.

  1. He says he wants serious things, but how can I be sure he’s ready?  Everyone thinks they have it figured out in their 20s, but few actually do. I know from experience that I didn’t have life as figured out as I thought I did at 28; I’m much different now at 32, and I can’t help but wonder how he’ll change over the next four years. He seems ready for the things we’ve discussed, but time will be the true test.
  2. Sometimes he says something juvenile that reminds me of how young he is. I can’t help but notice when he says something that could only come out of the mouth of a 20-something. As I inwardly shake my head, I just remind myself that I was that young once too and all of the awkwardness I experienced in my 20s helped me shape the confident person I am in my 30s.
  3. I wonder what he’ll be like in five years. If I could get a sneak peek, that would be awesome. It’s unlikely that he’ll change majorly to the point where I wouldn’t want to be with him; I’m just curious. Some of the aspects of myself that changed in my 30s are the things I’m most proud of, and I hope he gains the same kind of confidence boost I did.
  4. What can I reasonably expect from him maturity-wise? It’s a real question, because I sometimes make the mistake of assuming he understands my perspective. In reality, we see the world differently sometimes and I have to remind myself that we’re in different places in life and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  5. Should I be doing something to help him? Should I just let him figure things out on his own like I did? Sometimes it’s hard to tell what I should do. While it may have helped me to have someone older advising me throughout my life, figuring things out for myself really helped me become stronger and I don’t want to rob anyone of that valuable experience.
  6. What if he ends up wanting someone younger down the road? I’m sure it’s a bit novel to date an older woman at this point in his life, but will he still feel that way when I’m a solid 40 and he’s only in his mid-30s? I’m not getting any younger, and that’s a little unnerving sometimes.
  7. I hope I’m not making a mistake. Deep down, I know that something would feel off if I were, but I still can’t help but wonder sometimes how our story will unfold from here. Will it be the magical journey I’m anticipating or something else entirely? Only time will tell.
  8. I have to know where this road goes. All fears aside, I have a good feeling about this relationship and I have to know what lies ahead. The future will always hold uncertainty, but I’ll walk down this road anyway because I think there’s something seriously worthwhile down there.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.