How To Deal With Dick Pics If You Really Like The Guy

How To Deal With Dick Pics If You Really Like The Guy ©iStock/Dean Drobot

You’ve been getting to know an awesome guy — he’s sweet, intelligent, and really interesting — but then he goes and ruins it by sending you an unsolicited dick pic. Ugh, minus 50 points! But does this always have to end with you blocking his number? What if, in spite of the uninvited appearance of his junk, you really like the guy? Here’s how to deal with dick pics if you think there could still be potential there.

  1. Ask why he sent it. There are a few reasons a guy might send a dick pic. He might think that since he’d love to see a naked picture of you, you’ll appreciate one of him. Or, he might think that this is just the best way to get into a sexy conversation (the fool!). Before you write him off as an arrogant jerk, ask him why he’d send you something like that and see what he says.
  2. Be honest. Once you’ve given him a chance to explain his silly idea, you should also be real about why you don’t like it. Perhaps it zaps the mystery or just feels sleazy. If it’s worth seeing where things could potentially go with this guy, it’s worth opening up and letting him know where you’re at.
  3. Find out what behavior the dick pic brings out of him. If you saw potential in the guy, try to steer the conversation away from his, erm, artwork after telling him why you don’t like receiving them and see how he responds. If he’s cool, he won’t ask if you liked the pic. If he’s only interested in sexting and hooking up, he’ll probably push the issue. If the latter’s the case, it’s probably time to get out.
  4. Tell him what you’re looking for. If you’ve had interesting conversations with this guy before he sent a pic of his junk and killed the mood, now’s the time to tell him what you’re looking for. Are you looking for a quick hookup or something real? See where he’s at. He might have genuinely thought dick pics would impress you (the idiot), but if he’s into something real too, he’ll apologize.
  5. Don’t reply with a pic of yourselfIf the guy says he was just hoping to have some sexy fun with you via your phones because he’s into you, don’t go along with it or think that you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Those pics will last a lifetime on his phone and the internet — yes, they could end up there — and by sending a naked pic, you’re encouraging this kind of behavior. He’s proving he’s a jerk and not worthy of your time.
  6. Don’t stroke his ego. One of the big questions if you’re getting real with the guy and making it clear you’re not into dick pics is whether or not you should still compliment his junk. If you don’t, he might think that it’s not up to your standards. But who cares if his ego is bruised? Did he ask you if you’d like a pic of his junk before he dropped his pants and took a pic? If not, then you really don’t owe him a compliment right now for something you didn’t want to see.
  7. Back off a little. Okay, you’ve been real with the guy and he apologized for the dick pic. Now what? Does your interaction end? Perhaps it’s good to back off a little and see what he does. If his next move is to text you with some interesting topic and he’s as amazeballs as he was before his pic faux pas, then he’s clearly not into messing up a good thing with you. Of course, there’s always the possibility that you won’t hear from the guy again, but in that case, good riddance to the loser.

Why guys send dick pics and expect you to just deal with them

  1. They’re seeking validation. This is probably the number one reason guys send dick pics and expect you to just deal with it. More than that, they actually want you to respond with endless praise and compliments on the size and girth of their members. They’re insecure and want the go boost of knowing you like what you see. As one Reddit user named Jake explained: “I’ve done it a few times in the past, and I think it’s mostly about validation. Although most men will never admit to it, we are very insecure about our bodies, especially down there. So, unconsciously, we just want someone to say we look nice, or that we are attractive. OK, sending an unsolicited dick pic is really not the way to do it, but I do think that’s the driver. We are just desperate for someone to tell us we’re OK. Not even sexy or incredibly handsome – just OK.”
  2. They hope you’ll be inspired to send nudes back. A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research showed that overwhelmingly, the motivation behind men’s decision to send these unsolicited photos is because they hope you’ll respond with the same. They believe it’s very much a “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” situation even though the women on the other end of the line definitely haven’t agreed to anything of the sort.
  3. They want to turn you on. There are some men who think that sending you close-up pics of their genitals is the way to turn you on and make you want to sleep with them. Admittedly, once you’ve dated a guy for a while and built sexual tension with them, this could definitely be the case. However, most guys send these photos in extremely early stages, often when they haven’t met the recipients in person at all, so it’s completely inappropriate and tends to have the opposite effect than they hoped or intended.
  4. It’s an easy thrill and they get off on it. In the same Journal of Sex Research study, 18% of men revealed that they sent dick pics because they get off on it. There’s something sexually exciting about taking photos of their own genitals and sending them off into the ether to land on your phone.
  5. They’re trying to gauge your interest. It seems weird that they don’t just come out and ask you straight up if you’re into them instead of sending you disgusting pictures, but it happens. Many guys think that your reaction to getting pictures of his junk that you never asked for is a good way to tell whether you like them and possibly want to sleep with them. Many of them believe that even if you don’t take the bait, someone else will, and they’ll easily move on to someone else.
  6. They just want to show off. If they’re proud of what they’re packing down there and have a big ego about it, it’s very possible that you have to look at it as well because they want to show off. They can’t even entertain the idea that you might not want to see it — in their eyes, why wouldn’t you?
  7. They’re purposely trying to upset you. There’s a small portion of men who like to send unsolicited dick pics because they know you will react negatively and that’s exactly what they want. They have a dislike of women and use these photos as a form of harassment, which makes them even more unacceptable. Please be aware that if you’re constantly being bombarded with these types of photos and you feel it may escalate to assault, you can always go to the police about it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.