How to Deal When Everyone Around You is Getting Engaged

Once you reach your mid to late twenties, you’ll notice something happening that’s never happened before: People start getting engaged. It feels like you can’t go a single day on social media without someone announcing their impending marriage and, of course, showing off photos of their engagement ring. From 25 on up, the engagement announcements become more and more prevalent and if you’re single or in a relationship with someone who isn’t ready to tie the knot, it can feel like Facebook is mocking you every time you’re on there. Instead of letting it get you down, look the situation in the face and deal with it. That’s all you can really do.

  1. Get off the hell off Facebook. When it comes to engagement announcements, Facebook is just a deep, dark sea of them and you can only escape by either deactivating or ignoring it altogether. No one’s forcing you to scroll down your timeline 24/7.
  2. Take a realistic look at your friends’ relationships. Seriously, would you really want to be in a relationship with your best friend’s boyfriend? You’ve seen the dude’s texts; he doesn’t know “your” from “you’re.”
  3. Examine your own relationships. Whether you’re single or partnered up, you can still look at the romantic situations you’ve got going on, and from there deduce just how jealous you really aren’t. I mean, it’s not like you really want to be engaged to the guy you only text when you’re drunk anyway.
  4. Send your congratulations through gritted teeth. You are allowed to be bitter and you are allowed to be envious, which also means you’re allowed to feign happiness. Fake it ’til you make it – being genuinely happy in these situations might not come naturally, but you should at least try to mean it.
  5. Be grateful you can spend money on something other than a wedding. Even if your friend’s parents are paying for the wedding, she’ll still have to chip in something at some point. And with wedding cost averages in the United States being over $30k, that’s a lot of money to be throwing into just one day.
  6. Be happy your brain won’t be consumed with wedding thoughts. As any bride with tell you, once they’re engaged, their brain is totally focused on their wedding 24/7 until the day is over. It’s no way to live when there is so much else out there to think about.
  7. See their upcoming weddings as an opportunity for you. Just think about all the singles who just might be at their wedding. You may just get yourself a hot fling with their cousin out of it.
  8. Don’t get obsessive. If you let yourself go down the road of obsession, whether it is being obsessive about getting a boyfriend or trying to convince your current boyfriend that he needs to propose, you’ll just drive yourself mad.
  9. Spend lots of time with your single friends. Because if anyone is going to help you deal with all those engagement announcements, it’s your fellow single friends. Commiseration galore over multiple bottles of wine will do much to quell any animosity you’re feeling.
  10. Have ample hookups. One of the best parts about not being engaged is you still get to relish in your single behavior and that means experimenting sexually with different people. Although one-night stands should never be used as a way to get yourself out the sads, if you put the right spin on it, they can be a really great distraction. Remember: Engaged people are signing up to have sex with the same person until they die.
  11. Throw yourself and un-engagement party. Why? Because you’re awesome and free. If people are celebrating their commitment to each other, why can’t you celebrate your freedom? You can, so you should.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.