Dealbreakers Aren’t Just For Dating — You Don’t Have To Put Up With Crap From Friends, Either

We often talk about dating dealbreakers, but we should set standards when it comes to friends, too. After all, accepting bad behavior from anyone can really do a number on your self-esteem. So how do you know if you’re just going through a rough patch with your friend, or that it’s time for you two to break up? Here are 10 things that are totally unacceptable in any friendship.

  1. Being two-faced. Ideally you would be able trust your friends, since they’re the ones you turn to when you’re feeling vulnerable. But if you find they’re constantly backstabbing you, you probably should let them go. Real friends are able to talk to each other about their problems — they don’t badmouth them to others.
  2. Acting like a bully. Some people pretend to be your friend, but they actually just want to bully you into doing their bidding. If friendship comes with intimidation, then it’s time to cut ties.
  3. Letting jealousy turn them into a hater. Some people just can’t be happy for others because they’re jealous. Instead, they’ll pretend what you’re doing is silly and put you down to make themselves feel better. This is pretty manipulative and can ruin your self-esteem. If your friend is a constant hater, you’re better off walking away before you start questioning yourself.
  4. Always being a taker and never a giver. Friendship should be a two-way street, but some people like using their friends when they need them, then ghosting when the other friend tries to reach out. If you notice that you’re not as much of a priority to them as they are to you, then it’s okay to be selfish and start putting yourself first. Sadly, the taker isn’t going to put up much of a fight for you.
  5. Constantly lying to the point where you can’t trust them. You should be able to trust that your friends have your best interests at heart and know that they’ll always be honest with you. If you find out that they’re continually lying, however, don’t waste your time.
  6. Cheating with your significant other or ex. According to girl code, exes are usually off limits and obviously the person you’re currently dating is a no-go. Usually you shouldn’t take things out on the other person if your SO is having an affair, but if that person is your friend, then you definitely have a right to be mad at them and to walk away.
  7. Hiding your friendship as if they’re ashamed of you. A friend should be by your side no matter who’s watching, but if you get the feeling like your friend doesn’t want to be seen with you in real life or online, then you should question things. Why would a true friend act as though you’re not good enough? That’s obviously not the case, so don’t accept it.
  8. Always treating you like you’re Plan B. Just like a taker, this type of person puts you on the back burner. If they keep cancelling plans  to hang out with someone else, then that means you’re probably their plan B. Don’t settle for that and be someone else’s plan A.
  9. Constantly having something negative to say. Yes, friends can have their dark days where they don’t lift you up, but if your friends seem to be the one source of negative energy in your life, then it’s time let go. Perhaps this negativity is their constant drama, or maybe it’s about something that is going on in their lives. It’s hard, but if you feel like your friend doesn’t want to help themselves and instead seems wrapped up in negativity, then care for yourself by distancing from that.
  10. Spreading your personal business. Keeping secrets and being open is something that really binds friends, so when someone abuses that by going around town with that privileged information, then that’s a sign that person can’t be trusted and has a big mouth. Pick your confidants wisely!
Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for YourTango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe. She is a lover of all things entertainment meaning she spends most of her nights in New York binge watching television shows. Follow her on Twitter at @nikkibernice.