Dear Ex: You Need To Move On Already

We broke up a while ago now, and while it was sad, I’ve fully come to terms with the fact that we’re over. You, however, seem to think there’s still a chance for us, that we might get back together if you’re persistent enough. I truly hope you find the kind of love you’re looking for, but it won’t be with me. Here’s why you need to finally let me go:

  1. I’ve moved on. I’m not holding onto you or our relationship, and I definitely don’t want it back. I let go of you and I’m happier because of it — don’t you want that too? To be free of the weight of us? You have to stop treating me like your happy ending and realize that I’m not your future wife. I’m your ex, and you need to start treating me as such or you’ll never be able to move on.
  2. You deserve true love… But it doesn’t exist with me. I don’t love you anymore, and even if I did, that wouldn’t have been enough to make our relationship work. You deserve an epic love, but I’m not the girl you live happily ever after with. I’m the girl at the beginning of the tale, but your story is far from over. The sooner you leave me behind, the sooner you’ll find the right girl for you.
  3. I deserve to be happy. You didn’t make me happy, no matter how hard you tried. That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth. I know I didn’t make you happy, either. I eventually had to find happiness within myself before I could find it with someone else. Once you do the same, you’ll realize that you really don’t need me anymore.
  4. Our relationship wasn’t really that great. You’re glorifying the good times in your mind, but what about all the bad times? Our relationship was pretty much just a series of fights with a few briefly happy moments in between. You’re cherry picking the best parts of that relationship and putting them into a fairytale while ignoring the glaring issues. Be honest with yourself and you’ll see that’s true.
  5. We don’t belong together. We’re just not right for each other and you need to accept that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We didn’t make mistakes that need correcting, we just didn’t fit. We’re not going to find our way back to each other because we don’t belong together. We were happy momentarily, but we weren’t good for each other, and you need to accept that.
  6. You can’t force me to fall back in love with you. I know you want me to love you again, but unfortunately, love doesn’t work like that. I did love you once and I will always care about you, but there will never be any deep feelings between us again. It might seem sad, but that’s just part of life.
  7. I’m with someone else now. Not only have I moved on with my life, I’ve moved on in love. I’m with someone else now. I’m head over heels for another guy — if nothing else told you that you need to move on, you’d think this would, but you’re still waiting for me. I don’t want to sound cruel and I definitely don’t want to rub it in your face, but there’s no future for us and I don’t know how else to get it across.
  8. We are never ever getting back together. You’re in denial that we’re over, but that doesn’t make it any less true. A relationship takes two people, and this is completely one-sided. Our breakup was permanent, not temporary. The sooner you accept that, the better.
  9. It’s not healthy for you to hold on to our past. Our relationship is history — we’ve been there, done that, and we definitely don’t need to go back. That doesn’t mean that the time we had together was a waste or that I’m not grateful for the time we spent together; it just means it’s over and time to move on.
  10. We can’t stay in each other’s lives. I’m sorry. I know that must be hard to hear, but I think it’s what’s best for the both of us. Trying to stay in touch, especially when you still have feelings for me, is totally unhealthy. We need to say goodbye for good.
  11. There are other fish in the sea. I wasn’t your last chance at love. You just have to stop thinking about me and start opening yourself up to someone else. There’s an amazing girl out there who’s just waiting to meet you and embark on a new journey with you. Unfortunately, that girl just isn’t me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.