Let’s All Just Agree That Breakups Should Be In Person

Let’s All Just Agree That Breakups Should Be In Person ©iStock/franckreporter

Voicemail, Facebook chat, email, a text message… none of these are acceptable ways to break a someone’s heart. When it comes to doing the dirty work, many of us tend to throw all etiquette out the window, and that’s BS. You need to have the balls to break up with your soon-to-be ex-partner in person like a mature, thoughtful adult — it’s the least they deserve.

  1. A face to face breakup demonstrates respect. You might not love your S.O. anymore, but after all this time, you should at least respect them. Show a little humanity and just give them that much. At the end of the day, while they know they’re not going home with you, they should at least be able to leave with a little dignity.
  2. It shows that you actually gave a damn. If you can’t even show enough compassion to do it in person, then the whole relationship feels like one big lie. If you ever really loved them, then you’d care enough to face them in the end. It’s so easy to erase everything you had, but knowing it at least meant something can mean the world to them, even if the love story ends.
  3. At the very least, you owe them a real conversation. Your relationship may not have been the best, but you both still put a lot of time and effort in and the ending deserves time and effort too. You can’t push them off on a text message or hang up on their phone call. That’s weak, and right now you need to show a little strength for their sake. They’re trying to be strong here, so give them what they’re due — a proper goodbye.
  4. An explanation will decrease the chances of a misunderstanding. They’re probably not going to try to change your mind, they just want to know why. What made you come to this conclusion and how long have you known it wouldn’t last? They want your thought process. They’re losing you and that’s pretty damn confusing, so the clearer you can make this, the better.
  5. Who wouldn’t want answers? You don’t have to reply to a text, but you do have to reply in person. You might try sitting in silence, but it’s going to get hella awkward when they don’t give up. Tell them how you feel, tell them why, and tell it to their face. They don’t deserve to be left in the dark. They don’t deserve to wonder. They deserve answers, and they deserve them from you.
  6. Despite what you might think, the truth isn’t that hard to handle. The truth hurts, but in the end that’s what they really need. You’re breaking up with them and they want to know why. They don’t want some lame excuse, they want the truth. After all you’ve been through, can’t you at least tell them why?
  7. No one should have to go through a breakup alone. You might not be a shoulder for them to cry on, but at least they won’t be standing in front of the mirror watching the tears fall on their own. You were supposed to be there for them, so at least be there ‘til the end. Once the relationship is truly done, they’ll figure it out on their own, but for now, don’t make them wonder alone.
  8. A breakup shouldn’t be casual. Their feelings matter, so when you break up through a text, Facebook message or a damn phone call on their answering machine, it feels like the relationship was nothing. It wasn’t even serious enough to warrant a face-to-face discussion. It was nothing to you, they were nothing to you, and that makes the breakup sting even more. Who knew that was even possible?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.