Dear Guys Who Ghost Women — Screw You

Dear Guys Who Ghost Women — Screw You ©iStock/g-stockstudio

Ghosting truly sucks, and yet it’s become all too common in the dating world. Guys who do it are too cowardly to be upfront and honest about their feelings (or lack of them), and here’s what I want them to know:

  1. We deserve some respect. Respect is a basic human right, and one that you clearly undervalue. We would have given you the same if you’d have just given us the truth behind your silent adios.
  2. Is honesty really that hard for you? We don’t get why this is so hard for you. Honesty is simple and it’s as easy as firing off the sentence, “You’re great, but I’m just not feeling it.” If we ask you why, it’s because we truly want to know. This floating from person to person, hoping someone is finally going to be honest with us thing is getting pretty exhausting.
  3. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Breaking up and parting ways is uncomfortable — we get it. Sometimes there will be tears, but mostly, we just want an ending that’s honest and mature. We don’t want to hate you. We don’t want to send those awkward follow up texts when we haven’t heard from you in days. We just want to know if this is the end.
  4. Leaving without answers only creates more questions. When you leave without saying a word and without giving us a reason, all we have are more questions. We question ourselves, we question who you really were, and we question our futures. Without being given proper closure, we become more afraid of the next romantic encounter, living in fear that he too could disappear at any moment without a trace.
  5. Tip: Ghosting doesn’t “leave the door open.” For those of you who think ghosting us means you can leave us on the back burner and reappear later, only to be greeted with open arms, please rethink your life. If and when you decide to make this type of exit, you’re as dead to us as an actual ghost.
  6. Your actions cause a ripple effect. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but modern dating really sucks, and ghosting only adds to the crap pile of a mess we’ve all made. If we could all learn to be a little more decent, it would go a long way.
  7. Ghosting is seriously not OK.Maybe you’ve been ghosted before and you think this is totally legit and acceptable behavior, but it’s really not. Creating the illusion of a relationship and then leaving it high and dry will make anyone feel stupid. This new wave phenomenon might seem like an easy way to escape the discomfort but you’re learning nothing in the process; unless you count new ways to be an loser as a learning experience.
  8. You’re a coward. Think about it — what does ghosting really do for you? All you get out of it is the avoidance of an awkward conversation. Over time, that one avoided awkward conversation turns into five, and then ten, and then before you know it, you’re in a full blown relationship with zero ability to communicate. Great job.
  9. This is the goodbye you couldn’t say. If all else fails, we’ll say the words you couldn’t say: “It’s not me, it’s you.”