Dear Men: Get Your Act Together If You Don’t Want To Spend The Rest Of Your Lives Alone

No matter how hard we try to find a decent guy that we can actually connect with and potentially form a real relationship with, we’re constantly coming up short because those guys are in short supply. We’re sick and tired of going out with losers who can’t take responsibility for their words and actions and who expect us to pick up the slack. Dear men: here’s why you need to get your act together if you don’t want to spend the rest of your lives alone:

  1. You’re living in fantasy land. If you think that you don’t have to put any effort into a new relationship, from the first date activity to how often you contact us, you’re dreaming. That’s not how this should work — if you like us, you should make an effort to show it. If you’re not quite sure what you want, don’t bother to waste our time. If you want to see us, tell us and then follow through. It’s really not that difficult.
  2. You’re super negative. You like to complain about literally everything, from the service to the food the first time we go out with you to your job and your life in general. It’s not attractive. It’s not even remotely cute. You’re not going to find many women who want to put up with that negative crap. You’d complain if we were super negative all the time, so why do you think the same rules don’t apply to you?
  3. You’re not a grown-up. You may be at an age that might be considered an adult but many of you don’t act like one. You’re wearing the suit and tie and going to the office every day but you still live at home, your mentality is still totally high school, or you just haven’t emotionally matured — or worse, all three of those.
  4. You don’t even want to change. You hate the idea of changing for anyone, let alone your girlfriend, and that’s pretty sad. Have you never heard of wanting to be a better person because you want to be worthy of the person that you’ve fallen in love with? What’s stopping you from being the very best version of yourself?
  5. You rag on your buddies. You go out with us and complain about your friends and their girlfriends. Don’t you think that’s kind of lame? We’re not going to think you’re being funny. In fact, we’re going to think that you don’t respect relationships at all. Oh wait, that’s totally true.
  6. You don’t take us seriously. You cancel plans last-minute or reschedule for several days later, and yeah, you may think that you have legit excuses — but you really don’t. When you don’t respect our time, that proves that you don’t take us seriously, and that’s not a recipe for a romance.
  7. You have zero concept of time. You don’t get that if you keep acting this way, you’re going to end up alone for the rest of your life and you will never be able to find a woman who wants to be with you. You’re not getting any younger (even if you act that way) and you owe it to yourself to smarten up and fast.
  8. You’re too confusing. You text us and seem super into us… and then it’s radio silence for days upon days. You ask us out and then don’t talk on the actual date or you’re in a bad mood the whole time. You’re too confusing and we don’t want to deal with it. The problem for you is not many women will want to, either.
  9. You lead us on. You convince us that you really do want something real and then you turn around and it’s a totally different story. That’s getting super old and we’re not falling for it anymore. Until you can be honest about how you feel about us, we’re not going to stick around.
  10. You’re not impressive. You’re not as charming as you think that you are. You’re not as funny or attractive or literally anything as you think that you are. Unless you can have some form of human decency, we’re not into it. No one else will be, either, no matter what you might think.
  11. You’re asking to be alone. Your bad behavior means you’re really just begging to be alone for the rest of your life. You’re not going to get any woman with the way that you talk and act. Which might be too bad if you’re really a good guy in disguise. But since you haven’t proven that to be true, we’re thinking it’s really no great loss.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.