Ghosting is a pretty crappy way to break up with someone, but unfortunately it seems to be pretty commonplace in the modern dating world. Don’t we remember how to break up with someone like a decent person anymore?Breakups are never fun, but there are plenty of ways to end a relationship that don’t including dropping off the face of the planet without prior warning. Need inspiration? Try one of these:
A face-to-face conversation.
As a grown adult, this is the way you should break up with anyone. Having a quick face-to-face chat is all it takes. “This isn’t working for me” or “I’m not feeling it” is better than not responding to someone’s messages. Yes, you’ll have to have an uncomfortable chat, but guess what? That’s part of being an adult, so grow up and behave like one.
A text message.
Texting isn’t the greatest way, but again, anything is really better than ghosting on a person. Modern daters tend to think that another person’s feelings aren’t their responsibility, but granting closure is just the respectable thing to do. Even if you’ve only been seeing the person for a short time, if a relationship and future plans are implied at all and you think that cutting off communication without explanation is acceptable, then please check yourself, because you suck.
Over the phone.
If you’re one of those people who actually like talking on the phone, then dialing the other person’s number and coming out with it is a good option. It’s more personable than a text message and actually won’t take very long. The conversation might end badly, but at least it’s an ending that’s real and no one is left guessing at what went wrong. Breakups don’t always need a long and drawn out conversation, but they do deserve a conversation or final words, at the very least.
Yes, I said it. Even a carrier pigeon is better than going completely MIA on someone.
An hand-written letter.
Sometimes it just feels better to put pen to paper and write out how you’re feeling. In my opinion, letters in general should totally make a comeback, and while it’s not great to end a relationship via the USPS, it’s still better than ghosting. If you can’t stomach a face-to-face, voice, or text conversation, then write it out and send it off.
Similar to the letter, sometimes it just feels better to put your thoughts and feelings in written form (and some people are better communicating when they can do so in such a thoughtful way, too). Technically you could achieve the same thing in a text message, but email sometimes feels like the less intimidating approach.
With simple honesty.
No matter what method you choose, the most important thing is that we need to start being honest with each other when we aren’t feeling it anymore or when we want to part ways when things are no longer working. If you had the time to make an investment into someone, you should also have the time — not to mention the decency — to provide an ending that’s honest. Ghosting isn’t honest. Ghosting is just avoiding dealing with the discomfort that comes with letting someone down. You know in your head why things are no longer working for you, so voice them to the person who needs to hear it. If we all embraced a lot more honesty, we might stop being so jaded and begin to start making more real and genuine connections.
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