Deep Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend To Get Even Closer

No matter how long you’ve been with your girlfriend, it’s worth taking the time to get to know her more. During the early stages of a relationship, asking some deeper questions can help you learn more about your partner that much faster. And, if you’ve been with your girl for months or even years, taking the time to focus on her and date her will make her feel loved. Regardless of your gender, if you have a girlfriend, you can set aside time to learn more about her likes and dislikes. Here are some deep questions to ask your girlfriend to learn more about her and strengthen your bond. There’s always room to grow no matter how long you’ve been together.

Deep questions to ask your girlfriend

  1. What makes you feel seen in a relationshipThe best relationships involve constantly checking in. Communication is key, so if you want to improve our relationship, asking her what makes her feel the most understood is a good idea. You may do many things to show you love her already, but you want to make sure what you’re doing actually works for her. You might be surprised at the answer!
  2. What daily things could I do to make your life easier? Relationships are a two-way street, and helping each other in everyday life will make you both feel secure. There are little things you could do for her to make her tasks easier. Maybe she wants help making breakfast, or maybe she just needs someone to ask her about work every day. Your girlfriend will appreciate that you’re taking time to ask generous questions like these.
  3. Are there any misconceptions you think people have about you? One way to really get deep with your girlfriend is to ask her this question. It will help you understand how she views herself and how she wants other people to see her. She’ll also appreciate that you took the time to ask something so thought-provoking. 
  4. Is there a hobby or activity you wish we did together? It’s healthy to have separate hobbies and interests, but it’s also essential to have some that you share. Check in with your girlfriend to see if she has any interests that she wants to share with you. This is also an excellent question to help you plan future dates.
  5. If you were an animal, what would you be? While some questions to get to know your lady better are more serious, it’s also a good time to ask some silly ones. And, while it might just be for fun, the animal someone would choose to be can reveal a lot about their desires and personality.
  6. Is there a superpower you wish you had? Many people might answer something like teleportation or mind-reading, so you can even get more specific and say it has to be something most people wouldn’t think about. You’ll both be laughing as you try to figure out some unique but useful superpowers.
  7. What is your dream living situation? This isn’t just one of the most interesting questions to ask your girlfriend but could be one of the most important. Some people dream of a big house with a large yard, while others want to travel from place to place. Regardless of her current home, ask her about where she wants to live in the future. Prompt her to go deep and describe what the room or location would look like. Get the details! 
  8. What is something you’re especially good at? Everybody has things they like about themselves and that makes them proud. Ask your girlfriend what skills she possesses that she knows set her apart. She’ll appreciate the chance to brag about herself, and she likely should be showing off her awesomeness. 
  9. What career would you choose in your ideal world? While some people are lucky enough to pursue their passion in their work, some prefer other paths for various reasons. Even if your girlfriend loves her job, you’ll learn more about her if you ask about other career paths she considered or would want to take.
  10. Is there anything in our relationship that makes you unhappy? You might not be responsible for your girlfriend’s happiness, but by asking her if there’s anything she thinks needs to be fixed, you can improve the relationship. Even if your relationship is pretty solid and there are no big issues, there might be some little things you can do to make her feel more secure. 
  11. What’s your best memory of us together? This question can help the two of you relive some wonderful memories and bond over them. It’s also a wise inquiry to let you know what makes her feel happy and good with you, and you can use the answer to plan activities and dates in the future. 
  12. What’s a sexual fantasy you have? This is one of the most interesting questions you can ask your girlfriend, and one of the steamiest. Talking about sex is an important aspect of good communication. Whether you are already pursuing fantasies together or need to spice things up, this is a good starter question to get you both in the mood. Of course, you’re not obligated to fulfill every fantasy, but maybe there’s something about it you can meet to make her feel totally turned on.

More questions to ask your girlfriend to strengthen your relationship

Do you feel like you’re in a rut with your partner? Are you unsure how to evolve your relationship? Here are a few questions to ask your girlfriend to re-establish your connection and strengthen your bond. You might even learn something new about her. Surprise her (and yourself) with these questions.

  1. “How are you feeling about yourself this week?” This is one of the most basic questions to ask your girlfriend but also one of the most important. We all go through phases of feeling insecure about ourselves for a range of reasons. Checking in with your girlfriend will make her feel seen and it’ll show that you care. She’ll know your feelings about her are getting stronger.
  2. “How are you feeling about me?” It can be easy to make an assumption about what’s going on in a relationship. This is especially the case when you’re in it! You might think everything is okay, but your girlfriend might be unhappy. To ensure that this doesn’t happen, it’s good practice to check in. Get her thoughts and feelings.
  3. “Do you trust me?” This is a do-or-die question. If the answer is “no,” then you don’t really have a relationship at all. It’s a harsh truth, yes. But, the importance of trust in a strong relationship cannot be underestimated.
  4. “How is your mental health?” It’s important to show your girlfriend that she isn’t just someone who only serves you as part of your relationship. She’s an individual too. If she’s feeling depressed or anxious, you are the first person she should be going to.
  5. “Where am I missing the mark?” Being sufficiently assured in yourself to ask for support and help is essential. It shows that you’re not too proud to put your ego aside. You can also put your girlfriend at the top of your priority list. She will feel so wanted.
  6. “Where do you see our relationship going?” Your girlfriend will appreciate your gumption when you ask this question. You can demonstrate that you’re thinking about the future while also being open to feedback.
  7. “Have I picked up any annoying habits recently?” It does no one any good to assume that they haven’t made a mistake in a relationship. Talk about problems head-on and make space to raise issues. This allows you to tackle things without letting them pile up.
  8. “Do you feel valued?” We can all be careless with our words sometimes. This is particularly true if things are stressful at work, or you’re worried about rent. Internally, you might think that your problems are more important or meaningful than hers. That’s not healthy. By asking specifically if your girlfriend feels valued, that ensures she’s feeling validated.
  9. “Do you want to plan a trip together?” This shows that you want to push your relationship further. You’re not just talking, but you’re putting action behind your words. It’s exciting to plan things together!
  10. “Do you want to visit my parents?” Sometimes we can get caught up in our own daily routines. We don’t stop to reflect on the ways that we shut people out. We can spend our lives waiting for someone else to make the first move. However, sometimes we first need to explicitly welcome that person into our lives. Invite them to meet your parents, and show them you care!
  11. “Do you want to make a change?” Are you happy with your education or do you want to go back to school? Is this your dream career? Do you need to go home for a bit? By keeping your girlfriend feeling supported and fulfilled you can strengthen your relationship.
  12. “What are areas of your life where you feel unhappy?” Relationships are about honesty, not faking it for each other. If you can’t be truthful and talk about things that make you sad, how else do you expect to get solutions?
  13. “What’s your comfort show?” Sharing entertainment together is a great way of bonding. This is even truer when you’re watching something that you both find comforting. Relationships don’t have to be all about guesswork. Asking clear questions in order to be able to support your girlfriend when she’s going through tough times is really important.
  14. “What’s your go-to snack on your period?” We shouldn’t have to explain why this is one of the best questions to ask your girlfriend. By not shying away from your girlfriend’s period, you’ll show how her how committed you are. There’s nothing to fear when you’re seeing your partner in a different, less polished way. Being able to look after her when she needs you is so important.
  15. “What do you need from me when you’re upset?” Talk to your girlfriend about how your arguments go and how you can make them better. Tell her in return what you need when you’re upset and it creates a really healthy dialogue. You are allowed to show that you’re upset. This is one of those questions to ask your girlfriend that’s more for your benefit than hers. However, she’ll certainly appreciate how much you care.
  16. “Do you want a regular relationship check-in?” We know that some things don’t have a perfect, single answer. Usually, we need to work on them over time. That’s okay. It takes the pressure off having the perfect thing to say when you know you’ll have another productive talk soon.
  17. “Do you want to do something spontaneous?” This is one of those questions to ask your girlfriend that serves two purposes. It will let you know what headspace she’s in while showing your interest in spicing things up. Being able to get into a fresh headspace and explore with your girlfriend is a great exercise. It shows her you know her and what she needs and you can experiment together.
  18. “Do you want to go plant shopping and rant?” The more specific your question, the more you offer your girlfriend a space that is specifically hers. By suggesting new and meaningful dates, it shows you want to spend quality time with her. Netflix and Chill just won’t cut it.
  19. “How’s work?” It’s the basic question that you rarely think to ask. Still, it might be something that has been weighing on your partner. Remember that, even though you might be happy with your career, your girlfriend might not be.
  20. “How’s your family?” Did your girlfriend talk about how her sister was getting married? Or, how about how her father was worried about his health last month? Follow up on those conversations. This is one of the best questions to ask your girlfriend because it shows that you were listening.
  21. “Do you want to take up a hobby?” Offering to do new things together shows that you want to make a new life with your girlfriend. You are becoming a strong unit and that’s what counts.
Amanda is a queer woman living in NYC and a professional writer/storyteller. She loves poetry, TV, killer whales, activism, fandom, Captain America, and leather jackets. Amanda is passionate about sharing her experiences and hopes that other people can relate and connect to them.