Deep Topics To Talk About With The Person You’re Dating

When you’re seriously dating someone, you can’t stick to small talk and jokes forever. Sooner or later, you’ll have to have some deep conversations. While these may push you out of your comfort zone, they’re important for several reasons. Deep topics teach you a lot about the person you’re talking to. But they can also build a bond between you and help you to understand each other. Check out these effective topics to bring up if you’d like to get deep with the person you’re dating!

  1. Social justice Social justice is a telling subject that can reveal a lot about the people who discuss it. It will help you get to know the person you’re dating because you’ll find out where they stand on different topics relating to social justice. By talking about a social justice cause you’re passionate about will naturally help you to connect with the other person because you’re likely to let your guard down while talking about it. Plus, discussing social justice issues can inspire both of you to take action and get involved with certain causes close to your heart.  According to Women’s Health, this is a deep conversation starter that can help you to bond with the person you’re dating.
  2. Past relationships It can feel awkward to talk about your past relationships with the person you’re dating. But if you’re both comfortable, this can lead to a stronger connection. You’ll find out about the other person’s past. But it will also shed some light on any baggage or fears they may be carrying around. More than anything, it will help you to understand them better. And you’ll get to vent about some of the pain or frustration that you may still be carrying. You might even be able to bond over similar experiences!
  3. Family relationships If it’s not too painful, talking about your relationship with your family is a good way to bond with the person you’re dating. Most people feel strongly about their families in one way or another, whether things are good or not. You might find out, not just how the other person feels about their family, but where they stand on families in general. This conversation can lead to talking about whether you want a family for yourself, and what kind of family it would be.
  4. Career motivations Talking about work can get dull. But you can make the topic deeper by delving into career motivations. Don’t just talk about what you each do for a job. Instead, discuss why you do it. What do you both hope to get out of your careers? Why have you chosen your particular careers? Do you see yourself staying there? This can provide insight into what is important to each of you and what your bigger goals in life are.
  5. Reasons for dating each other This is a fun one! Start a conversation about what you like most about each other, and why you started dating. It can bring you closer and allow you to be honest about why you were drawn to each other in the first place. This topic can lead to some laughs, but it can also surprise you.
  6. Your childhoods If talking about your childhood is comfortable for you, this is a great way to build a stronger connection with the person you’re dating. So much of who we become is shaped during our childhood, so it’s always interesting to hear about someone’s background. This topic can really help you to understand each other on a deeper level. You can also build intimacy by sharing things that you haven’t shared with many other people.
  7. Contributions to the world Ask the person you’re dating how they want to contribute to the world. Though they might have to think about this deep question for a while, the answer can teach you a lot about them. Do they want to give back financially? Have children? Work in a job that serves people? Volunteer? This conversation can reveal a lot about someone and also highlight where the two of you share common ground.
  8. Life goals Talking about your life goals is simple but powerful. And when you’re getting into a serious relationship with someone, it’s important too. Conversation Starters World lists this topic as one of the deepest, which may be because it can branch out to an intriguing conversation about the future. Find out what’s the most important to the person you’re dating and see if it lines up with how you feel. If it doesn’t, you might find that you’re less compatible than you thought. Or, you could strike the perfect balance.
  9. Best and worst moments in life Talk about your favorite memories and your worst regrets. This can be painful but also soothing. And it always feels good to share your best moments with someone you care about. They might respond in a way that helps you to see the past differently or make you feel better about your worst moments. No matter what, it will help you to understand the other person better and empathize with them more effectively.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.