Denim Panties Are Here To Ruin 2020 Before It Really Even Gets Started

Every once in a while, a fashion trend comes along that’s so terrible, it renders me absolutely speechless. Denim panties, courtesy of a brand called Ssense, are one such product. Just when you thought jeans and underwear were two separate products, now they’re combined into one and I’m not quite sure why.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by SSENSE (@ssense) on

  1. The brand is called them “janties.” Forget jeggings, janties are the new unnecessary hybrid clothing product in town. Combining the comfort of underwear and the… rough denim-ness of jeans (?) into one strange and yeast infection-inducing piece of fabric is certainly an interesting choice.
  2. They’re literally made to look like jeans. The denim panties (that word is so gross) are mid-rise and come complete with button closure, belt loops, and pockets. These features are likely meant to be a selling point but they just leave me with more questions.
  3. Are these meant to be worn as actual underwear? I can’t imagine wearing jeans under my jeans… or under anything else. Surely you’re not meant to wear these as an outer piece of clothing with a pair of underwear beneath them, because where the hell would it be appropriate to turn up in janties? They’re obviously not swimwear because they’re not marketed as such and who would go swimming in jeans? The whole thing is just confusing.
  4. They’re mind-blowingly expensive too. You’d think a clear novelty product like denim panties would have to be inexpensive, right? They’re inappropriate and uncomfortable to wear basically anywhere and they’re unsightly to boot. WRONG! These suckers are being sold by Ssense for a whopping $224, marked down from an even more ridiculous $315. What is happening here?!
  5. Thankfully, the site offers free returns. If you have time to kill and money to spare temporarily, you could always order a pair of janties, take some pics of them for your Instagram, and send these suckers back where they belong. After all, no one should have to suffer the indignity of denim panties.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
close-link
close-link