The 10 Most Depressing Things About Being Single For A Long Ass Time

For the most part, being single is amazing — but when we’ve been on our own for a long ass time, there are certain things about our lives and certain times of year that can bring up some truly depressing reminders about the reality that we’re without that someone special to share our lives with. It’s not always so bad, but these few things are definitely a struggle at times:

1. Vacation planning reminds us of yet another year without a partner to travel with. When our work vacation schedule comes out and it’s our turn to plan a getaway, it’s a slap in the face reminder that yet another year has gone by and we still don’t have that someone amazing to plan travel adventures with. It especially blows when the rest of our friends are all in relationships and are planning fantastic couple adventures of their own.
2. Engagement and wedding season leaves us emotionally exhausted. We witness or are a part of so many weddings, engagements, and other lovey dovey stuff all the time. There’s always an engagement announcement, a registry we need to buy for, an invite we need to RSVP to and we do it all completely alone. While we’re happy for our friends, it still stings when we’re constantly reminded that we have no date to bring with us, no splitting the cost of the gift and no special announcement of our own that we’ve finally found the happiness we know we deserve.
3. Sitting alone at holiday family gatherings becomes awkward over the years. Yet another year at the dinner table representing ourselves. Yet another year of listening to couples talk about all the fun holiday things they’ve done together while we’ve been mostly holed up watching Netflix. It’s not that we’re not happy with the other amazing things in our lives, it’s just that holidays make us completely aware of our single statuses.
4. We’re getting really tired of the cat lady jokes. I’m sure it seems really hilarious to make fun of the fact that we’re single with a cat or are being encouraged to get a cat as if it’s the next step in the process because we’re single AF, but honestly, the joke is pretty lame now. Just stop.
5. People are always saying cliche things to us about our dating lives. When we do take a moment to vent our frustrations and give voice to the fact that we wish we had someone in our lives, we’re always met with such mundane remarks that we’re so sick of hearing. “Maybe you’re choosing the wrong guys” or “It’ll happen when you stop looking” and “You need to love yourself first” are just annoying to hear. We’re well aware of all the cliche mantras. We don’t need anyone else to recite them to us.
6. Getting excited about dates becomes rare. When you’ve been on at least a couple dozen first dates that lead to nowhere, it’s hard to become genuinely excited about new prospects in our lives. We’re no strangers to disappointment, which is why we’ve remained single for as long as we have been. It’s pretty rare that we meet someone who truly sparks a sense of comfort in us, and if we have in the past, it’s pretty clear from the fact that we’re still single that it turned out to be another bust.
7. We miss sex. So. Damn. Much. As great as our goody drawers are to keep our sanity at bay, we can’t help but miss that feeling that comes with real intimacy with someone we truly care about on a deep level. Meaningless hookups just aren’t the same thing.
8. We constantly see people who’ve been single for a hot minute couple up so quickly. Nothing is more annoying or depressing than having that friend who just got out of a relationship find another new relationship so quickly. Like, what kind of sorcery is this? Is this really happening? How? WTF?
9. We’ve tried and are still trying our best to no avail. We’re not single AF because we’re not trying, we’re still single because we’ve tried countless times and have still come up short. It’s painful to have a pattern of failed attempts at love in our rear view mirrors and yet, despite how many times we’ve been disappointed and left heartbroken, we still make the effort to move forward and try again. While we may be resilient, it doesn’t mean we’re not emotionally exhausted.
10. We literally can’t understand how we’re still single. It hard to understand how in the hell we’re still alone after all this time. We’ve made our lives and ourselves into something amazing and someone who’s deserving of love and yet, we’re still without it. Yes, our lives are just fine as they are and while we take no issue with remaining patient, we just wish and hope that sooner than later, something will finally work out. After all, we’ve been single AF for a long ass time and it’s our turn to find real and lasting love.