How To Detach From The Guy Who’s No Good For You — Even If You Still Love Him

How To Detach From The Guy Who’s No Good For You — Even If You Still Love Him ©iStock/PeopleImages

Realizing that the guy you love isn’t good for you is definitely hard, but making the decision to actually leave him can be even more agonizing. Not knowing where to start or feeling like you’ll never get over him, can prevent you from moving forward, but taking that step will be good for you, and here’s how to do it:

  1. Give the relationship an honest look. When you take a serious look at your relationship and how he treats you, you may realize that sometimes love just isn’t enough. Looking at things objectively will help you see things from a more logical standpoint, and then you’ll be able to use your head instead of your heart.
  2. Remember the heartache of leaving is only temporary. As much as ending the relationship will hurt, the pain of staying in a bad one will last so much longer. Leaving him behind is essentially making a short-term sacrifice for enormous long-term gain. Remembering all the days you’ve spent upset because of him will help put into perspective for you how little time in comparison you’ll spend grieving the loss.
  3. Cut all contact, delete all social media. It really is nearly impossible to get over someone, no matter how negative they are, when you’re still talking to them. It’s totally possible to move on from the guy you just can’t seem to shake, but you’ll need to block him from everything in order to do it.
  4. Keep yourself busy and focused. Because you’re changing a big part of your life, it’s natural to feel a big void there. Instead of dwelling on the emptiness you’ll initially feel, keep busy and find something positive to do. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, focusing on an old one, or just seeing more of your friends, keeping your mind focused on other things is key.
  5. Remove his friends from your life, too. As hard as it is to lose more people, moving on will be that much harder if you’re constantly being reminded of him. Besides, even though his friends aren’t to blame for how he treated you, you’re not putting yourself first by being around the people who are loyal to him first.
  6. Keep reminding yourself that you’re so much better off. Getting over a not so great guy, even though you love him, is always going to suck, but remember that one day you’ll look back and be so grateful you did. It’s hard to keep things in perspective when you’re going through it, but keep looking towards the bigger picture and you’ll thank yourself.
  7. Look at what you have and think about what you want instead. When you honestly evaluate how you’re currently being treated, you can start picturing what you want, and what you deserve instead. If you really focus on all the things that are missing from the relationship, it’ll slowly become easier to detach yourself and move on to something better.
  8. Always remember that you’re not alone. No matter how lonely you feel, or how isolated you might think your situation is, someone else can always relate and will be a shoulder to cry on. Times like these will make you realize how solid your support system really is, and show you with all the great people you have in your life, you don’t have any room for someone who doesn’t deserve to be there.