Sure, you and the guy you’re dating are physically in the same space, but is he really present, or is his mind elsewhere? If you get the sneaking suspicion that he’s thinking about another woman (and maybe doing a bit more than thinking), here are some signs that you’re probably unfortunately right.
1. He’s always distracted during conversations.
When you’re chatting with him, it feels like his mind is miles away. He might nod and throw in the occasional “uh-huh,” but it’s clear he’s not really listening. It’s like he’s got something, or maybe someone else on his mind. His eyes might drift away, or he might not remember things you told him just a day ago. If your conversations feel more like monologues, it might be a sign his thoughts are occupied with someone else.
2. He’s way less engaged in your relationship than you are.
Remember when he used to plan date nights or surprise you with little gestures? If those days are long gone and he seems less invested in your relationship, it could be a red flag. It’s not just about the grand gestures; even his daily engagement seems to have dwindled. He might be physically present, but emotionally, it seems like he’s checked out. A significant drop in effort can indicate his mind and heart might be wandering elsewhere.
3. He goes off the radar regularly.
Everyone gets busy, but if he’s suddenly impossible to reach for long stretches of time without a reasonable explanation, you might start to wonder. If there are more instances where he goes off the grid, especially during times when he used to be available, it could indicate his attention is being occupied elsewhere. Being consistently unreachable, especially if this is a new development, can be a sign that he’s spending his time and attention on someone else. (BTW, if you keep ending up with guys like this, our sister site, Sweetn, is for you. They have some game-changing tips, tricks, and actionable advice to get your love life on a healthier, happier track. Check them out here.)
4. He’s shady with his phone.
Phones can be private, but if he’s suddenly super secretive about his, it might raise some eyebrows. If he’s tilting the screen away from you, jumping at every notification, or suddenly added a ton of new passwords, it could be cause for concern. It’s not about snooping or violating his privacy, but this shift in behavior can indicate he’s hiding something, or someone, from you.
5. He mentions another woman a lot.
There’s this one woman he keeps bringing up in conversations, seemingly without any reason. It could be a co-worker, an old friend, or someone new he’s met. It starts with casual mentions, but then her name keeps popping up more and more. It’s normal to talk about friends and colleagues, but if she’s becoming a constant in your conversations, it might be a sign she’s also a constant in his thoughts.
6. His social media habits change.
Suddenly, there’s a lot of activity on his social media, and it’s not with you. He’s liking and commenting a lot on someone else’s posts, maybe even someone you don’t know much about. His social media behavior can be a window into who’s on his mind. Sure, engaging with friends online is normal, but a noticeable shift towards someone specific might be a hint his attention is being redirected.
7. He compares you to another woman.
Comparison is a definite no-no. If he starts comparing you to another woman, even subtly, that’s not just disrespectful, it’s also a sign his mind is lingering on someone else. It might start off as innocent comments or comparisons, but it can escalate to a point where it feels like he’s constantly measuring you up against her.
8. He’s less intimate with you these days.
Intimacy is more than just physical; it’s emotional too. If he’s pulling away from you, both emotionally and physically, it’s a worrying sign. It’s not just about a reduced sex drive; it’s about the emotional disconnect that accompanies it. If he’s less affectionate, less interested in being close, or seems distant during intimate moments, it could be because his affection is being channeled elsewhere.
9. He’s suddenly very critical of you.
Criticism can be constructive, but if he’s suddenly critical about everything you do, from the way you dress to the way you laugh, that’s a problem. It might feel like he’s finding fault with things he used to love or didn’t mind before. This change in attitude can be a sign that he’s comparing you to someone else, and not in a good way.
10. He’s started making drastic changes to his appearance.
If he suddenly starts to change his appearance dramatically, it might be for someone else’s benefit. Maybe he’s hitting the gym harder than usual, wearing clothes he never showed interest in before, or trying out a new style that seems out of character. While self-improvement is great, a sudden shift in how he presents himself could be an attempt to impress someone else, especially if he doesn’t seem too interested in your opinion on these changes.
11. He avoids talking about the future with you.
Planning the future is part of any long-term relationship. If he starts to dodge conversations about future plans or becomes vague about commitment, it’s a red flag. This avoidance can indicate that he’s not envisioning you in his future, possibly because he’s thinking of someone else. If he’s suddenly non-committal about things he used to be excited about, like trips or moving in together, it’s worth addressing.
12. You feel it in your gut.
Sometimes, you just know. You feel something’s off, even if you can’t put your finger on it. Trusting your intuition is important. If your gut is telling you he might be thinking of someone else, don’t ignore it. It’s often the subtle changes in his behavior, the unexplained absences, and the unspoken words that signal something’s not right. Your intuition is a powerful tool, and it’s often worth listening to.
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