I Didn’t Believe In Love Until I Found It With You

After being screwed over so many times, I was convinced that true love was just a myth. I was ready to give up on it entirely, in fact… until you walked into my life and turned my beliefs upside-down. You helped me realize that true love is out there, and I was lucky enough to find it in my relationship with you.

  1. I’d been hurt so often and so badly in the past. It’s not an extensive history. My serious relationships were few but typically long – I was a serial monogamist, but it was solely due to my hatred of the dating scene. As a result, I was scarred and cynical when I met you, hiding behind a mask of indifference. Some of my wounds were still raw, but I wrapped them in sarcasm. You were more than a Band-Aid from the start.
  2. I expected lies when I heard “I love you.” Without fail, it was always this way. Looking back, I’m fairly confident that no one who said they loved me actually did, or if they did, it faded quickly. That’s all right, though — the same hindsight shows me that I didn’t REALLY mean it with them, either. I didn’t know what love was until I fell in love with you.
  3. I experienced obsession masquerading as love. Right before I tumbled over you, I got caught in the dumpster fire that convinced me love was a ruse, at least in my life. I fell for it like a fool and didn’t realize what happened until I was good and caught in some sick, narcissistic BS. The experience left me gun shy and distrustful. I’m so glad I finally met someone as honest and worthwhile as you.
  4. Trusting anyone was next to impossible. I trusted no one except my parents and my dogs when you and I met. It took you forever to break through the wall. You chiseled through layers of falling in love too fast, sacrificing too much, and always paying double the price. You were so patient. I likened you to Andy Dufresne once, chipping away with his rock hammer in “The Shawshank Redemption”, and I fell in love with you even though you admitted that you’d never read the story or saw the movie.
  5. I decided that relationships were too much trouble. Isn’t that the easy way out when every relationship’s been a certifiable disaster? It’s like quitting before I get fired. Up to that point, however, each one was too much work for not nearly enough. It’s never been trouble with you, though. Even when it seems impossible, the end game is always worth it. With you, every bit of work is worthwhile.
  6. I typically hated everyone I came in contact with, anyway. I have no excuse for this. I was just jaded and well on my way to becoming an angry old hermit who still lived with her parents. I’m not proud, I’m just honest — that was how you found me. I didn’t hate you, and you didn’t think I was cantankerous. We were the perfect match.
  7. Every ex disappointed me in some way. My serious exes were pretty rough. One turned out to be gay, the narcissist love affair had long-term consequences, and the one in the middle was a straight-up mess. I had zero expectations, gave zero f*cks, and didn’t even bother meeting new people. That’s why I’m still surprised that I chased you like a puppy dog.
  8. I was a disappointment to every ex. I had flaws, have flaws, and have always been totally transparent about them – to a fault, really. I disappointed each of my past partners in a different way, recognized myself as the common denominator, and assumed it was always me, which was why I decided to spare anyone else from dealing with me. Until you, that is – I wanted you to deal with me. In fact, I still do. You’ve always done it so well.
  9. Romantic love just felt like a staged greeting card invention. I didn’t expect fairy tales, but it seemed like my expectations were still too high. Still, I settled with each partner before you. That was why the kind of love I secretly craved seemed out of reach. You turned all of that on its head once I met you, though.
  10. I had fully accepted my inevitable spinsterhood. I was happy on my own. I was more or less okay with the idea of being on my own forever. I wasn’t looking, I swear. I just found you, and that’s all it took for my life and outlook to change forever.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.