8 Major Differences Between A Hookup And A Girlfriend

It’s amazing to think that partnerships have so many titles. You can go from having a crush on someone to being their girlfriend, fiancée, and then wife. However, your relationship can also sidetrack into something a little less exclusive. If your connection is purely physical, you’ll get the title of hookup or friend with benefits. Sometimes, especially early on, it can be hard to tell where you fall. Here are the major differences between a hookup and an actual girlfriend.

A hookup rarely has deep conversations with a significant other.

Sure, you both hold up your end of a basic conversation, but you never get into heavy topics. You’ve never discussed politics or what’s happening in the news. There’s a good chance you might not even be too clear on what he does for a living. When you’re not “girlfriend material,” the topics discussed will always be light and might not be too fulfilling. Try asking him a question about something more serious and see if he’s willing to converse, or if he quickly shuts it down.

Hookups never meet the family.

It’s an awkward situation to bring someone you’re not that serious about to a family event since family members will ask questions. Instead, you’re always hidden. That means this guy probably isn’t ready for a full-time girlfriend. You can always make the jump, but that requires a discussion — and quite often, you may end up moving apart from each other due to different perspectives.

A hookup isn’t exclusive.

Even if someone says you are, there’s still a little leeway there. That’s the category of “seeing each other,” which means that the two of you have a loose attachment but haven’t fully agreed to become a monogamous couple. If someone else comes along, this guy will ditch you and feel like it’s okay since it’s “not like you were official.” And technically, he’s right. Unless someone says “will you be my girlfriend?” loosely accept the fact that they likely have a wandering eye.

Hookups have no responsibilities attached.

You get the call and you come over. Rarely do the two of you just hang out without some physical aspect tied to it. For some people, this arrangement works out great. But, other people long for someone they can bring as a plus one to weddings or grab coffee with on a Friday afternoon.

Girlfriends know that dry spells happen.

Sex is essential in a relationship with a lover. But a girlfriend knows that sometimes, you may temporarily deal with a dead bedroom. When you’re a girlfriend, you have more intel on what someone’s everyday life is like. You hear about their struggles with work or the fight they had with their sibling. It brings more depth to the relationship. Girlfriends know more about the stress their partner is under, and why temporary pauses may happen.

Set plans get made with girlfriends.

If you’re a girlfriend, you’re being inviting on weekend trips and dinners out. And usually, you’ll have a good idea these events are happening. Hookups, on the other hand, are more familiar with the “U up?” text. If regular plans fall through, suddenly the friend with benefits becomes a good option. Some people are fine with these last-minute get-togethers, but they’re not for everyone.  So, if you’re hoping for regular plans and weekly traditions spent together, you might want to ask for a title upgrade.

Girlfriends usually get more life updates than lovers do.

When you’re a girlfriend, there’s a lot more to talk about. Asking your partner about their day is just second nature. For any type of relationship that’s based more on a physical connection, keeping each other up to date on work promotions and family members just isn’t as common. Can you hook up with someone who you connect with very well? Of course. Relationships like that come in all shapes and sizes. But, it may be tougher. In a situation like that, you’re not really owed the life updates that girlfriends naturally get.

Girlfriends also get anniversaries and special dates.

You might always remember the first time you hooked up with your partner, but it’s likely not something you’d celebrate together. If the two of you wanted to, you could — just, don’t expect a gift and big plans if your relationship is mostly physical.

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