Ditch Your Type – 10 Ways to Widen Your Dating Pool

Ditch Your Type – 10 Ways to Widen Your Dating Pool ©iStock/lechatnoir

Do you find yourself constantly gravitating towards certain types of men? It could be because they have qualities you admire, or maybe they remind you of someone you never quite got over. Whatever it is, there is a reason why dating the same type of guy never seems to work out. If you want to find someone who is right for you, you have to be open to everyone – especially if they aren’t the type that you would normally go for. Look deeper, and you’ll realize there’s a lot more to know about people than what attracts you to them in the first place. You could discover a whole new world of men!

  1. Stop using Tinder. Dating apps that require you to judge someone based solely on their appearance are only going to train you to go for the same physical type over and over. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to mostly dark haired guys, but you’re missing the best part about dating with these apps – the mutual chemistry.
  2. Get out of your comfort zone. If all you do is go to work, work functions, and hang out with people from work, you’re going to constantly be around the same types of people. Hobbies and interests that have nothing to do with your career will expose you to more personalities than you thought possible.
  3. Open your mind. If you have it in your head you’re gonna end up with a tall, dark, business man type who is at least 5 years your senior, you aren’t going to be open to the artistic, laid back, spontaneous guys who might actually give your life that sense of adventure that you need to get out of your shell.
  4. Stop letting your standards control you. That list of deal breakers you have running through your head while you get to know someone is holding you back. So, rip it up and try actually paying attention instead of mentally making everything they say a point for or against them.
  5. Rethink your non-negotiables. Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger is all about the non-negotiables. While there’s no need to waste your time on guys that are super religious or politically conservative when you are the complete opposite, just make sure you aren’t using shallow criteria to rule someone out. If your type has always been the fast track CEO, but it never works out because he has no time for you, maybe you need to accept that a guy with a less demanding job (even if that means he makes less money) will make you happier in the long run.
  6. Say yes more often. Say yes to going out with a new group or friends. Say yes to a blind date with a co-worker’s brother. Say yes to a make your own sushi class. Say yes to a new project at work that will force you to do things you have never done before. Say yes to every new opportunity that comes your way, because how do you know it’s not for you if you don’t try? The same goes for guys.
  7. Quit worrying what everyone else thinks. The first time you make it to a second or third date with the type of guy your friends have never seen you with, they’re going to wrinkle their noses and question your judgement. But that’s only because you’ve trained them to see you with a certain type, and only that type. Ultimately, they just want you to be happy, so if you break they habit, so will they.
  8. See the big picture. So he might not have the best fashion sense. He might prefer beer over wine and he might like cheesy action movies. But is he there for you when you need him? Does he treat women with respect? Does his odd sense of humor have you in stitches more often than not? Those are the things that will keep you interested in the long run. Don’t pick your next boyfriend based on frivolous things, and your relationship will be a lot more likely to stand the test of time.
  9. Age is but a number. You might have this idea that a guy who’s younger than you will never be mature enough. Younger guys are perpetual frat bros who will never be able to keep up with you, right? But that’s not always the case, so don’t let finding out he’s 3 years younger than you shut down an otherwise promising connection.
  10. Don’t compare him to anyone else. Your exes are your exes for a reason, so why would you compare your new prospects to them? Leave the past in the past and focus on what you want and need right now.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.