If You Do Any Of These Things, You’ll Lose Me

I go all-in when I get into a relationship, so it takes a lot to convince me to leave. I’m a pretty patient person, and I understand that no one is perfect. However, even I have my limits, and if you do any of these things, I’ll run away as fast as I can:

  1. Tell me I can’t do something The last thing I ever want to hear from the guy I’m dating is that he doesn’t believe I can accomplish something. Nothing has ever made me feel quite as low as when the person who was supposed to build me up decided to tear me down instead. I don’t care what it is; if you truly love me, than you’ll believe I can do anything I set my mind to.
  2. Laugh at my dreams Whatever sets my soul on fire is no laughing matter. I have great aspirations, and I take them all very seriously. If you don’t support my dreams, I’ll have a hard time supporting you.
  3. Mock me I can take some sarcasm, but there are many situations in which I find it unacceptable. It’s rude, cruel and takes a toll on my self-esteem. I refuse to spend time with anyone who doesn’t take me seriously when I feel strongly about something. I’m a passionate person in both happiness and anger, and I can’t be with someone who tries to make me feel like my emotions aren’t valid.
  4. Make me feel small Relationships should be about equality, and that means neither of us should be tearing the other person down to build ourselves up. If I’m with you, it’s because I trust you, and if you try to make me feel worthless, of course it’ll get to me. Unfortunately, when you put your trust into someone, they can really have an impact on how you feel about yourself.
  5. Try to control me I don’t need you to tell me how to live my life.  If you make me feel like I can’t do or say anything right, I won’t be around for much longer. There’s noting worse than being with a guy who talks to you like he’s your father.
  6. Betray my trust No one in their right mind would date a shady guy. Lying to me or cheating on me is the ultimate slap in the face, and I won’t tolerate it. Trust is a crucial component to making any relationship work, and if we don’t have that, than we have nothing. I don’t want to hear your BS lies, because the minute I feel like I can’t trust you, I’m leaving.
  7. Make me feel insecure If you have anything negative to say about me and who I am, there’s no reason we should be together. I should feel like my best self when I’m around you, and that’s not going to happen if you’re cutting me down or comparing me to other girls. If you’re dating me, I should know that you like me just the way I am.
  8. Say one thing and do another I’ll be long gone the second I notice a pattern of your words and actions not matching up. I have better things to do than to waste my time with someone who doesn’t stick to what he says he’ll do.
  9. Pretend that everything’s fine even when it’s not If you’re not feeling the relationship, don’t act like everything is okay just to humor me. I want to know your real feelings whether they’re good or bad. By not being honest about what you’re feeling, all you’ll be doing is making things worse for yourself and investing your time in someone who isn’t right for you. It may hurt at first, but I’d rather break up than be stuck in a relationship where I’m the only one who’s happy.
  10. Make me feel like you settled for me If you’re with me, I want it to be because you chose me over everyone else. I’d hate to discover that you’re only with me because you couldn’t get someone else or are afraid of being alone.
  11. Make me feel alone If you really love me, don’t make me feel like this is a one-woman show. I want to know that you’ll stand by me through the good times and the bad. I’d rather be single than feel like I’m all by myself even when you’re standing next to me.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia