8 Things You Have To Do Differently When Dating Someone Who’s Fiercely Independent

Independent people are self-sufficient, confident, determined, and successful. If they’re in a relationship with you, it’s because they truly want to be with you, not because they’re lonely, bored or wanting emotional or financial support. If you want to last with them long-term, you’ll need to do these things.

  1. Be willing to give them more space than you’re used to in a relationship. You’ll realize that people who are independent not only value but prioritize their space and alone time. If you’re not used to that from your past partners, you might take it as a sign that they’re uninterested. However, the fact that your partner isn’t clingy and needs space doesn’t mean that they’re not committed to the relationship or to you and once you realize that, you’ll find that approach is actually healthy for a long-term relationship.
  2. Realize that your partner might not ask you for help even when they need it. Often times, people who are independent have a difficult time asking for help and prefer to figure out problems on their own. This isn’t to say that you should have to overthink everything your partner says, but sometimes they may need your help but are too self-reliant to say so. You may have to take the initiative at times when you can and want to help your partner without them bringing it up. Remember that boundaries are important in a relationship too, and you want to try and avoid doing something that might make your partner uncomfortable. Bringing your S.O. soup and ginger ale when they’re sick without being asked is something that would mean a lot to an independent person, whereas paying an expensive bill without their knowledge might make them feel uneasy and upset.
  3. Make plans in advance. Don’t expect your independent partner to always be available without confirming it in advance. Independent people are often on the go and have no problem adventuring alone. If you want to see them, make sure to make plans with them rather than just assuming they’ll be around, otherwise, they’ll make plans with themselves or their friends.
  4. Respect their decisions and choices even if you don’t agree with them. It’s important to remember that your partner is very determined and confident, and even if you think they’re making a mistake, it’s likely one they need to make in order to learn from it. Trying to change their mind about something they’ve already make a decision about not only won’t work but will most likely upset and anger them. You don’t have to agree with every choice, but you’ll need to be able to let your partner make their own decisions without intervening.
  5. Be straightforward and avoid playing any relationship games. Relationship games have no place in adult relationships anyway, but someone who’s fiercely independent will not entertain them at all and it will likely lead to the relationship ending. While you’re adjusting to your partner’s independence, their need for space and alone time might make you question their intentions and feelings. Trust that your partner is being truthful with you and give the same honesty back. They don’t have the time or energy to spend trying to figure out what’s real and what’s not, and they won’t continue a relationship that forces them to do so.
  6. Be supportive of their goals and dreams, no matter how big or difficult they are. Your partner likely has sky-high goals and dreams big and they won’t let anything get in the way of accomplishing them, including a relationship. If you’re not supportive or are constantly doubting whether they will be successful, it’ll be a huge red flag for them because they don’t keep anything in their life that holds them back or weighs them down. No matter how crazy, wild, or huge your partner’s dreams and plans are, support them and encourage them.
  7. Don’t expect to be the center of their universe. Being in a relationship with someone who’s fiercely independent means that dating and falling in love is only a part of their world and definitely not their only focus. That’s not to say that they won’t make their partner a priority, but actively seeking a relationship is not something they tend to do and when they choose to be in one, they won’t let other important parts of their lives fall behind because of it.
  8. Appreciate their strong-willed personality and the fact that your own relationship preferences might change for the better. Although there might be a learning curve when you’re dating someone like this, it’ll teach you to value your own independence more than you already didYou’ll realize that being in a relationship with this type of person will give you more freedom and inspire you to not only value but fight for your own independence. You won’t have to constantly reassure your partner that you’re interested in them or worry they may get upset if you don’t answer your phone for a few hours. Love isn’t possession, it’s appreciation, and being with someone who’s fiercely independent will make you more bold and self-reliant in return.
Kerry is a freelance writer from Boston, Massachusetts who now lives in the Sunshine State with the love of her life and her 15 month old daughter. She writes frequently about her personal experiences (find more of her work on www.followmetogetlost.wordpress.com). She has an Etsy shop with cute items: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FollowMeToGetLostWhen she's not writing, she loves to spend time outside, at the beach, and with her family.