Society puts so much pressure on women to adhere to a very narrow definition of beauty. We have to be thin but still have curves. But not too many curves, or else we’re fat. Boobs or butts that are too small aren’t sexy, either. We should have the perfect hair, clear skin, and be done up to the nines at all times. Except we shouldn’t get too fancy, or else we’re conceited, high maintenance, or slutty. It’s an impossible standard to live up to. However, it seems the worst offense a woman can commit in the dating world is weighing too much. Is that actually true? Do guys actually care about weight?
Things your weight has nothing to do with
It’s important to realize that the size of jeans you wear or what the number on the scale says is pretty irrelevant. In fact, those things have nothing to do with these:
- How good of a girlfriend you’ll be Guys who care about weight obviously don’t know that it does not relate to your ability to be a good partner in any way. You would think they’d want a loving, attentive, loyal girlfriend above all else. What does your size have to do with that?
- What you’re like in bed There are thin women who are total pillow queens. There are bigger women who are enthusiastic about sex, adventurous, and love trying new things. There’s no correlation between your ability to be good in bed and what size you pull off the rack at H&M.
- How smart, funny, or kind you are It goes without saying that your physical appearance does not relate to your personality and your heart. There are some incredibly beautiful people that are ugly because they’re rude and selfish. There are those who don’t adhere to society’s beauty standards that are totally lovely. You cannot tell by looking at someone what they’ll be like.
- How beautiful you are Newsflash: you don’t need to be a size 2 to be gorgeous. What some guys fail to understand is that your weight does not make you more or less attractive. Your curves, stretch marks, and cellulite are all part of your journey. In fact, they can even enhance your natural gorgeousness.
- How healthy you are Thinness does not equate with healthiness. There are stick-thin people who smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and drink themselves to death every weekend. There are overweight people who work out daily and have a perfect bill of health. You can be healthy at ANY size. Anyone who assumes having a few (or many) extra rounds makes you unhealthy needs to educate themselves.
- How well you take care of yourself Being bigger doesn’t mean you don’t take pride in your appearance. You still shower, do your hair and makeup (if you wear it), and choose clothes that make you feel confident. Why would that not be the case?
- Your goals and ambitions You have things you want to accomplish in life and you’re going to make them happen come hell or high water. Why wouldn’t you? Your weight doesn’t hold you back. It doesn’t even factor in, to be honest. (Nor should it.)
Do guys actually care about weight?
The sad truth is that there are guys out there who fixate on appearance above all else. These guys care about weight because they think it matters more than it does (which is not at all) when it comes to relationships. They want a trophy to display on their arm and for people to be jealous of what a hot girlfriend they have. These guys are superficial and aren’t looking for deep emotional connections. Instead, they want to be part of a couple that looks good from the outside even if there’s nothing beneath the surface.
The good news is that not all guys are like this. In fact, many of them aren’t. Not only are there men who are more attracted to women with a bit of meat on their bones, so to speak, but others simply don’t think it matters. That’s because it doesn’t. These men have high emotional intelligence and the maturity necessary to realize that physical beauty fades. It’s what’s inside that counts, and you’re incredible. How lucky would any guy be to have you?
What to say if a guy calls you fat or criticizes your weight
- “I don’t remember asking you.” Seriously, why do people feel the need to comment on other people’s bodies? Who asked him? Nobody, that’s who.
- “I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as you.” This sarcastic comment points out the fact that he very likely has plenty of flaws of his own to be worried about. Why is he pointing out yours?
- “What gives you the right to comment on my body?” Guys who care about weight often feel bold enough to speak those thoughts aloud. Why? Call him out on his presumptuousness. He needs to know how inappropriate it is.
- “I can lose weight — you can’t get a new personality.” True! You might lose weight for any number of reasons in life, if that’s what’s right for you. Weight is (often) changeable if you want it to be. Sadly, his personality seems set in stone. How unfortunate.
- “I thought elementary school was over decades ago.” Guys who make fun of a woman’s weight are immature and need to get a life. You’re no longer on the playground, and he should know better by now.
- “Wow, your mom must be proud.” Did his mom teach him to be so rude and awful to other women? Surely not. What would she think if she heard him? He should be ashamed of himself.
- “Grow up!” This one is pretty simple and straightforward. He needs to stop acting like a 12-year-old.
- “Is that supposed to upset me?” You’re strong, confident, and know your worth. Why would some rando’s comments about your appearance get you down? If he thought he was going to get a reaction out of you, he’s sorely mistaken.
- “You must be a really sad person.” He really is. How terrible must your life be that you feel the need to put down someone else about how they look? He must be super insecure.
- Nothing at all You don’t need to continue the conversation. When a guy berates you, the best thing you can do is cut him off immediately. He’s not worth it.
While some guys out there will fixate on a woman’s weight (and her appearance in general), this isn’t something you should worry about. What’s most important is that you cultivate a sense of self-love and self-worth that no one can destroy. If you feel good in your own skin, that’s all that matters.