Do Guys Play Hard To Get? How They Try To Hook You & What To Do

I can’t tell you how many times throughout my dating life I’ve been given the advice that I should play hard to get in order to get a guy’s attention. I know I’m not alone in that regard. And while I realize there’s a certain merit to not giving too much too soon, I’ve often wondered whether guys ever use this tactic and if they do, how it differs from when women do it. Here are a few methods you’ll probably recognize all too well.

  1. They take forever to reply to your texts. Women do this too, of course, but men are notorious for it. They’re not “super busy” and no, they didn’t “just seen this, sorry” – they’re purposely taking a while to respond to keep you on your toes. They think that by taking forever to respond to your message, you’ll drive yourself crazy wondering what they’re doing and who they’re with, and they’re not actually usually wrong about this. Doesn’t mean it’s not infuriating, though.
  2. They don’t want to hang out too often. No matter how much they like you, guys who play hard to get don’t want to be with you that often. They think it’s way too early to get too attached at the hip so they’re fine to leave it days or even a week before hanging out again. This is also a way of pumping the breaks so things don’t move too fast between you, which kinda makes sense.
  3. They’re nonchalant about nailing things down. You’ve gone out a handful of times and things are going well so you’re ready to take things to a more official level. Generally speaking, they’re not. They’re cool with casual, are fine “just hanging out and having fun and seeing where things go.” Chances are, they probably know where they want things to go, they just don’t want to let you in on that just yet.
  4. They continue to date other women while they’re seeing you. Ugh, WHY! If you know you like someone, why not focus your energy entirely on them? While it makes sense to pace yourself and not shut off other opportunities too quickly, many guys play hard to get by acting like they’re the hottest property around and still dating other women alongside you. To be honest, this is a bit of a jerk move.
  5. They’re hot and cold. One minute they’re nuts about you, the next they act like they couldn’t care less if they ever saw you again. What gives? More often than not, this is some warped approach to reeling you in by making you desperate for his approval. It’s immature and obnoxious but it doesn’t stop many guys from doing it. Sigh!
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill
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