Do “Soulmates” Actually Exist? 9 Reasons You Need To Get Over The Idea Of Finding Yours

No one wants to consider the possibility that you might end up alone, so you cling to the hope that your soulmate is still out there. There’s nothing wrong with staying hopeful about finding love, but counting on a someone to show up and sweep you off your feet is probably going to leave you disappointed.

  1. No one is perfect. You probably have it in your head that your soulmate will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more. The reality is, there are going to be things you don’t like about virtually everyone you date. You just have to decide which flaws you can live with and which ones you can’t. The most you can hope for is to find someone who you genuinely feel is perfect for you.
  2. Relationships take work. Even if you’re super compatible, want the same things and get along pretty great most of the time, that doesn’t mean you’ll never fight or go through any rough patches. People tend to get lazy when they get comfortable with someone, and that alone has the potential to end a relationship that seems perfect in every way.
  3. You’re probably compatible with a lot of different people in different ways. Some people think they can only have one soulmate and that person is more perfect for them than anyone else could ever hope to be. But it’s a lot more likely that you’ll connect with a number of different people throughout your life for different reasons. Besides, why would you want to limit yourself to just one soulmate?
  4. Love is a two-way street. Just because you think someone is your soulmate doesn’t mean it’s all going to work out. You can’t control someone else’s feelings for you, and unrequited love isn’t exactly the key to a healthy relationship. Not to mention that if you have it in your head this person is made for you, you’ll be a lot more likely to ignore any red flags that pop up.
  5. Timing is a huge factor. Even if you meet someone that is everything you’re looking for, if circumstances don’t line up perfectly and you don’t both want the same thing at the same time, it still won’t work out. That’s proof alone that love definitely doesn’t conquer all.
  6. There are no guarantees. Even if someone is technically perfect for you, everything falls perfectly into place and you end up together, that still doesn’t mean you’ll stay that way. Circumstances change, people change and you never know where your life will take you. Thinking of him as your soulmate will only make you feel obligated to stay in a relationship that isn’t working, and that’s not good for anyone.
  7. You’re sabotaging your chances at finding real love. If you have it in your head that true love only happens as part of an all-consuming soulmate type of connection and all other relationships aren’t worth the effort, you’re going to find yourself single a lot of the time. All relationships have their issues and sometimes love is more about accepting each other’s flaws than just automatically being perfect for each other.
  8. Your expectations are too high. While you should definitely have a few dealbreakers and an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner, your vision of a soulmate is probably an ideal made up of a bunch of different traits you find attractive. The chances you’ll find all that in one person are unlikely, so you have be willing to let go of a couple things if you want to figure out exactly what’s most important to you.
  9. What you want might change as you get older. Maybe you fit together perfectly when you were in your twenties, but as you get older, what you want out of a relationship changes. It’s natural for people to drift apart and start to want different things. That doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be together for a little while, but it does mean that you might have to accept when it’s time to let each other go. That will be a lot harder to do if you think he’s the only one in the entire world you’re supposed to be with.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.