Do You Get Off On A Guy’s Intellect? You Might Be A Sapiosexual

A sapiosexual is someone who finds intelligence to be the most sexually attractive feature. In other words, when looking for a potential partner, intellect is the one quality you just won’t budge on. Here are some other signs this term might apply to you.

  1. Intelligence is sexy AF. Someone being smart is actually a legitimate turn-on for you. It’s enough to make you go wild. It attracts you to people initially and keeps you engaged and attracted to the other person long-term. Some people are turned on by big muscles, you’re turned on by big brains.
  2. You’ve always found nerds hot. In high school, it was totally uncool to find nerds hot but you did anyway. You were attracted to them then just as you are now. You couldn’t help it—and not in an ironic way.
  3. You’d pick brains over looks any day. You can’t be bothered with beauty standards. You’re not attracted to people for surface-level reasons like their height or weight. Brains are so much more important to you when searching for a potential partner. The way words roll off of someone’s tongue is much more sexy to you than a pretty face. This isn’t to say that looks are unimportant, they’re just not a top priority.
  4. Sexual attraction comes after witnessing someone’s intelligence. You’re not sexually attracted right upon meeting someone unless you’re witnessing their smarts. If you just see them, it’s not enough for you to be attracted to them. You have to experience their intelligence in order to be turned on. You may witness their intelligence through talking to them, hearing about their accomplishments, or hearing about them through someone else.
  5. You know that “smart” is about more than just book-smarts. There are all different kinds of smart. There isn’t just the kind that can talk physics or recite Shakespeare. There’s also common sense as well as emotional intelligence. Common sense is a kind of intelligence that’s undervalued but is so important. Emotional intelligence also isn’t talked about enough even though it’s crucial to being able to have relationships. There’s more than one way to be smart.
  6. You love when someone’s grammar in texting is on point. Nothing irks you quite like the misuse of your versus you’re. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for you when the other person’s grammar is off. On the other hand, it’s a huge turn-on when someone doesn’t have spelling mistakes. It’d seem a simple thing to ask for, but you know that it’s not because there are people who make a lot of grammatical mistakes. These aren’t your people.
  7. Your date must be able to hold their own in a conversation. You don’t expect your date to know everything about everything, but you do expect them to be able to have a conversation on just about anything. They should be emotionally and intellectually intelligent enough to ask the right questions if they don’t know the answers. You find holding their own in conversations to be incredibly sexy.
  8. You prefer a date like a bookstore over a bar. Bars are incredibly boring to you. They’re way loud and are filled with too many drunks. You’d much prefer a date at a bookstore because you two can hear each other and the place is filled with one of your favorite things. It’ll likely even lead to a conversation about what books you two are both reading, and what better way for you to get to know who someone is?
  9. You can handle periods of silence. You’re not afraid of sitting in a little silence. To you, it’s much better than trying to fill it up with garbage small talk. You don’t know how to conduct yourself when it comes to small talk; it’s a foreign language to you. So, you’ve grown to not mind silence at all, in fact, you kind of like it because you know that it signals the absence of small talk.
  10. You value humility. Sure, intelligence is the most important for you, but not if it comes with arrogance. Someone who brags about their accomplishments or abilities isn’t sexy to you. Rather, you’re attracted to someone who’s intelligent but is humble about it. It’s just evident that they’re a smart person, they don’t need to keep telling you that they are.
  11. You’re an effective communicator and expect the same in return. You can take what’s in your head and draw it out to form clear sentences communicating what’s really going on with you. Just as you can do this, you expect the person that you’re dating to be able to do the same. Since you’re a sapiosexual, you’ve likely chosen someone with high levels of emotional intelligence, so this is possible.
  12. You’ll likely end up dating another sapiosexual. Like attracts like. You’re attracted to others who are highly intelligent because you yourself are highly intelligent. Chances are that the person that you end up with will also be a sapiosexual who finds your intelligence wildly attractive. You two will be great for each other!
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at