Do You Have A Selfish Boyfriend? Signs He’s Looking Out For Number One

Relationships are supposed to be 50/50. Sure, the balance might tip here and there depending on what’s going on in either person’s life, but generally speaking, you should be an equal team. If that’s not happening, not only will one person end up feeling exhausted, neglected, and resentful, but you probably won’t be together that much longer. Do you have a selfish boyfriend? Look out for these signs so you can identify the problem and do something about it (mainly kicking him to the curb!).

  1. He’s a bit of a narcissist. No matter what’s going on or what you’re talking about, somehow it all comes back to him. It wouldn’t be unfair to say that he’s in love with his own reflection. He thinks the world revolves around him and if he and what he thinks/feels/wants aren’t relevant to a situation, he’s not interested. This is one of the biggest signs of a selfish boyfriend. How can he be giving if he’s always worried about what he can take?
  2. He makes all the decisions. From where you eat dinner to what city you’re going to live, he always makes sure he’s the one in charge. You have no say in the relationship because everything is on his terms. In fact, you might as well not even be there, you contribute so little. It shouldn’t be like that!
  3. His pleasure always comes first in bed. This is one of the biggest signs of a selfish boyfriend and one of the most problematic. A caring partner will want you to be sexually satisfied and will go out of his way to make sure you finish. If he’s all about making sure he gets off and then rolls over and goes to sleep without even caring how it was for you, that tells you everything you need to know.
  4. Compromise isn’t in his vocabulary. A healthy relationship is one in which both people can meet each other halfway so that everyone’s needs get met and both people are happy with the outcome of any given situation. However, he’s not into compromise and expects you to always bend to his will. If for some reason you insist on something that goes against his preference, a massive fight ensues and he throws a fit until you give in (and you always do).
  5. He’s never there when you need him. Another of the troubling signs you have a selfish boyfriend is that he’s never there when you need him. Whether it’s helping you through a hard time after a family member dies or even turning up to a work event as your plus-one, if he’s always letting you down, he’s not a good partner and definitely isn’t ready for a relationship.
  6. He’s always trying to change you. When you’re dating someone, they should accept you for who you are. Yes, it’s great to have a partner who supports you being the best version of yourself, but any changes you make should happen because you want them, not because your boyfriend is forcing them on you.
  7. He always has hidden motives for the things he does. When he does something nice for you, it’s tempting to see it as just a lovely guy doing something sweet for his girlfriend. That’s not the case, however. There are always strings attached to the things he does for you and expectations that you’ll give him something back – and chances are that something will be way bigger/more taxing than what he’s done for you.


Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia