Do You Have Fake Friends? 9 Signs Your Closest Confidantes Are Totally Insincere

It’s always great to have a bunch of amazing friends around you supporting you in life and cheering you on. However, not all friends are as supportive as you think they are. We like to think the whole cliquey vibe gets left behind when we finish high school but unfortunately, some adults are still into that teenage drama and gossip. Life is too short to spend your time around people who don’t truly love you and want to see you be happy. Here are a few signs that the “friends” in your life aren’t as true as they might claim to be.

  1. They aren’t happy about your successes. If your friends seem salty or jealous when something great happens in your life and make you feel guilty about sharing it with them, they’re absolutely fake friends. Even if they are going through something difficult in their life and might be envious of the things that you have, they should still want to see you be happy. You might feel like you have to hide the good things from them so that they won’t feel bad but if they’re your true friends, they will still feel joy and celebrate you the way you deserve to be celebrated. They’ll get their moment in the sun too and when they do, you’ll be there to cheer them on. If they can’t be happy for you, they just aren’t a real friend to you.
  2. They try to downplay the things that make you happy. Another surefire sign of a fake friend is when they try to make you feel like the goods things in your life aren’t that great. For example, if you’ve just landed a new job that you’re really excited about and you tell your friend about it, they should be excited for you and encouraging. However, if their first reaction is to highlight all of the negatives, like telling you about the long hours you’ll have to work or the pressure that will be put on you to do well, they’re obviously trying to make you feel less happy about this success because they’re jealous of you. This is not okay! If they’re too insecure to feel happy for you, just move on. They’re not the type of friends you should want in your life.
  3. They make fun of the things that are important to you. It’s totally normal for friends to razz each other and joke around but a true friend knows where to draw the line. They definitely should never be ridiculing or belittling something that is very important to you, no matter what it is. If your friend is making fun of your job, your hobbies, your family, your significant other, or anything else like that, this is just another sign of their insecurity. Your interests don’t have to be identical to theirs but they still need to respect what matters to you. If they’re constantly trying to belittle the things that make you who they are, they’re most likely envious of you or attempting to make you insecure like them. Whatever the reason is, real friends don’t do this and you shouldn’t put up with it.
  4. They don’t accept you for who you are. If you have a friend who’s constantly trying to change you or encourage you to be someone who you’re not, this isn’t a sign of true friendship. Real friends accept each other for who they are. They don’t choose to be in each other’s lives because of how they look or what they have. If your friends make you feel like you have to be a certain way in order to maintain your relationship with them, they are definitely fake friends.
  5. They aren’t around during tough times. Real friends are there for you no matter what and when you’re going through something difficult or painful, sometimes the best thing for you is the love and support from a good friend. If your friends seem to be mysteriously absent whenever life gets hard for you, it may be a sign that they’re not true friends. It’s not as fun as celebrating the good times but when life puts you through the wringer, good friends are there by your side to weather the storm with you.
  6. They pressure you to do things that you’re not okay with. Just like friends can have different interests and tastes, your friends may like to do things that you’re not too keen on and that’s perfectly fine. When you hang out with them, you should just do things that you both enjoy. If your friend seems to constantly pressure you to do anything that you don’t enjoy like partying, drinking, or even just normal day-to-day things that you don’t like, let them know you’re not okay with it. If they refuse to compromise with you, they’re not being a real friend.
  7. They talk about you behind your back. This one seems pretty obvious, but it’s easy to make allowances for someone’s unacceptable behavior when we care about them or just want to see the best in them. Even if they try to disguise gossiping about you as some form of love whether they say it’s only because they care or that they were just worried about you, it doesn’t matter. If they really were concerned, they could confront you about the matter. There’s no reason for them to be talking about you to other people without your knowledge, especially if what they’re saying is unkind.
  8. They use you for whatever resources you have. If your friends seem to only want to hang out with you or be in your life because of what they can gain from it, that’s a definite sign of a fake friend. It could be the material things that you have, connections you have with people, or even things that you’re willing to do for them but whatever it is, if they make you feel like their friendship is conditional on you giving them certain things, that isn’t a real friendship and you’re better off without them.
  9. They don’t push you to succeed. True friends always have your best interest at heart and will always encourage you to do what’s right and what’s best for your life and your future. If your friends either discourage you from going after your goals or just don’t seem to care, it could be because they’re not real friends. Some people will discourage others from going after big achievements because they want to always feel superior and don’t want to see the other person have success. True friends know that just because you have great things happen in your life doesn’t mean they won’t and they’ll not only be happy for all of the good fortune you receive but they’ll always cheer you on and encourage you to go for more.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.