Do You Have a F*ck-Off Fund? You Should

Do You Have a F*ck-Off Fund? You Should ©iStock/Portishead1

I’ve never been one of those women who’s looking for a sugar daddy — I like to be able to take care of myself. After all, men can leave, become unemployed, get sick, and die. Moreover, being able to take care of myself makes me feel independent and free and that’s priceless. Here are some more reasons why I won’t ever let myself get too financially dependent on a guy and why you shouldn’t either:

  1. You can treat yourself better. When you’re in desperate financial straits, the first thing to go when the belt tightens is self-care. If you’re always worried about where the next penny’s going to go, you can’t take care of yourself well. Of course stress and worry about finances will always be around in some form or another, but you can’t operate on a shoestring budget for long and not feel that pain more acutely.
  2. You don’t want to be stuck in a desperate situation. Have you ever heard of the term the f*ck-off fund?” The idea is that financial independence is a failsafe against getting stuck in an abusive situation — whether that be a relationship, a job, or a living situation. You can’t have a successful f*ck-off fund in place unless you’re financially stable all on your own. Having some emergency supplies in your bank account will keep you from being held down in a bad spot due to lack of money.
  3. It gives you confidence. There’s no better feeling than paying your own bills. It’s seriously the best confidence boost. You want to harness as much confidence as you can in this world that’s so ready to always shoot us down. Having the means to keep your own life afloat is necessary to keep that confidence shining.
  4. You’re able to make better choices. Similar to the desperate situation idea, the hope of being financially independent is that it gives you options. You can choose where to go in your life without fear or scarcity fueling your decision-making process. Money of your own gives you the time and space you need to make healthy choices look a whole lot more achievable.
  5. You won’t be obligated to anyone. It’s always nice to have someone in your life willing to help you out of a tough spot. Parents, family members, friends, or romantic partners can all be lifelines in a monetary crisis. But when those handouts start turning into a regular occurrence, it can put a definite strain on any relationship. You don’t want to be the person continually needing to grovel, and you don’t want to feel obligated to everyone who’s ever given you a loan out of gratitude or guilt.
  6. It leaves you free of guilt. Speaking of guilt…the sickening sensation in your gut that happens when you realize you won’t have enough for rent this month? Not having money isn’t a morally bad thing, but it can sure feel like it. Maybe you needed a little help to get started in life — hey, who of us hasn’t? But if you still always feel like you’re one step from falling apart financially, you know that living with that guilt really, really sucks.
  7. It gives you freedom. Nothing feels as good as the knowledge that you can take care of yourself. Having your money in order is one of the best ways to have the freedom to live your life however you choose. If someone disapproves? Well, that’s on them, but you’ll be living exactly how you want to, and not dependent on anyone else to lend you their approval.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut