Do You Have Unrealistic Expectations In Love? 10 Signs Your Standards Are A Little Too High

When it comes to finding love, you don’t want to settle and be unhappy. On the other hand, if you have unrealistic expectations, it could hold you back from ever finding the right person. After all, no one is perfect. So, how do you know if what you want is not only unfair, it’s also downright impossible? Keep an eye out for these signs.

  1. You expect them to fit an image in your head. Everyone has that idealistic image in their head of what they would like their partner to be like, but you can’t turn anyone away who doesn’t fit this ideal to a T. This will limit a potential relationship and you could find yourself looking forever for the right person.
  2. You think arguments are always a sign of trouble. Arguments aren’t always a major issue. After all, disagreeing is just a heightened form of communication that happens in relationships sometimes and if done in a healthy way can be very productive. If you’re looking for a partner with whom you’ll never have a single argument, then you could be holding out for the rest of your life. The truth is, they’re unavoidable. However, you can choose how you deal with arguments. Just listen to your partner and try to see it from both points of view. From there, you can work it out. Running away from an argument isn’t going to help.
  3. You think that you should always come first. It’s understandable that you’ll want to spend a lot of time with your partner, but you can’t expect them to only have time for you. They have other things that they need to make time for – work, friends, hobbies, to name a few. Expecting them to drop whatever they’re doing to spend time with you is not only an unrealistic expectation, but it can lead to a toxic relationship. You need to get used to spending more time by yourself so you don’t need to rely on your partner to always be there.
  4. You’re looking for perfection from the beginning. No one is perfect, so you should stop expecting them to be. Occasionally, you may disagree with something they’ve said or you might not like every single item of clothing they wear. Maybe you don’t like one of their friends. These things are normal and they shouldn’t be a reason to run away. If you’re looking for the perfect person with the most perfect life, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time.
  5. You think your partner is all you need. When you rely on one person for happiness, you’re sabotaging your relationship with yourself. You’ll always need friends, family, and a healthy relationship with yourself. Without these things, you’ll probably feel an empty spot in your life. Of course, you’ll try to fill it by spending more and more time with your partner, but it won’t work. Your partner is just one person – you can’t rely on them for everything.
  6. You expect them to read your mind. Your partner can’t read your mind, so if you want to make your feelings known, you’ll have to speak up. Expecting them to sense that something is wrong is unrealistic and will just lead to resentment on your part. You should feel comfortable enough around your partner to mention what’s on your mind.
  7. You expect them to post about you on social media. Social media doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. If your partner doesn’t post much about you on social media, that doesn’t mean they’re keeping you a secret. And it doesn’t mean they are embarrassed about the relationship either. It could simply be because they don’t use social media very often. Plus, you don’t have to post anything to strangers online to prove it’s real.
  8. You expect romance 24/7. In the beginning, you might be going for romantic meals out and getaways and spending lots of time together. Then it begins to fizzle out just a little bit and you spend more time at home. That’s normal. You can’t expect grand gestures every single day that you’re together. You might not even get to spend much time together some days. This is what you have to deal with in any relationship. If you can’t handle that, then you need to rethink your expectations.
  9. You need to have lots in common to be compatible. This couldn’t be further than the truth. In fact, having lots of things in common with someone can actually be a bad thing. It’s having those differences that can make the relationship dynamic so interesting. A relationship often involves two people who are very different from each other but work very well together. If you’re expecting your partner to be exactly like you then you’re going to have a problem.
  10. You’re expecting a proposal soon into the relationship. Getting engaged is a big step in any relationship. It can take many years for them to build up the courage to pop the question, and that’s understandable. You need to spend that time getting to know each other and seeing if you can imagine them being in your life long-term. Expecting a proposal early on is highly unrealistic.


Coralle is a freelance writer with an interest in relationships, women's health and parenting. In her free time, she enjoys reading, watching new Netflix shows and spending time with family.