Many couples have a hard time figuring out if and when they should go to couple’s therapy. Some end up taking too long to decide, by which time anger, resentment, and unhappiness have already set in. This is a tough position to be in and the damage can be very difficult to fix. If you have hopes of saving your relationship, seek a therapist’s help once you start noticing these signs.
You feel like you’re all by yourself. Feeling lonely in a relationship is one of the saddest and most hurtful emotions that ever. Maybe you don’t feel loved, respected, supported, or heard. Maybe you can’t shake the feeling that they’re going to leave you. Whatever the issue is, your relationship will be better off if it’s addressed sooner rather than later.
You feel the need to monitor your partner closely. Do you have a constant urge to go through your partner’s phone or computer? Do you worry about what they might be up to whenever you’re not together? Are you always double-checking the things they say to confirm that they’re being honest with you? This usually indicates broken trust. Going to couple’s therapy can help you work through your feelings, rebuild trust, and forge a healthy relationship.
Sex has become an obligatory activity. If you or your partner is avoiding physical intimacy or phoning it in in the bedroom, it’s time to get in touch with a therapist. There are clearly some underlying issues preventing you or them from desiring or enjoying sex, and you’ll need a safe space to work through them. It could be that your libidos are mismatched or that one person feels sex is being used as a tool of power and manipulation.
Your arguments are never-ending. You’re having a normal conversation and the next thing you know, you’re yelling at each other. You keep having the same argument over and over and you can’t understand why the other person just won’t see your side of things and keep these fights from happening. A therapist can help you uncover the real triggers behind your conflicts and put an end to the exhausting cycle.
You’re communicating wrong or not doing it at all. A lot of the time, the conflicts in a relationship boil down to how well you’re communicating with each other. If you’re choosing silence, not listening to your partner, ignoring the issue, scared to open up, or shouting at the top of your voice to get heard, that’s not going to work. Couple’s therapy can provide a space for you to express yourself without feeling insecure, judged, silenced, shamed, or overlooked.
One or both of you have had an affair. Whether it was physical or just emotional, excessive acts of intimacy with someone other than your partner is a huge betrayal. If you still want to be together after confessing your infidelity or finding out that your partner has been unfaithful, the next thing to do is schedule an appointment with a therapist. This will help you analyze the situation properly instead of just lashing out and hurting each other more.
You seem to be growing apart. Have you stopped worrying about planning dates and romantic gestures for your partner? Do you find yourself spending more and more time apart? Are you starting to keep secrets from each other? Does everything your partner does annoy you for no reason? Have you stopped fighting altogether? If you feel like you’re drifting apart, an intervention can help you recapture that lost spark rebuild your connection.
You keep trying to change the other person. Your partner is a human being so they cannot be perfect in every way, so when you start feeling the urge to mold them into someone else physically or behavior-wise, that’s a sign that you’re unhappy with your relationship. Couple’s therapy is a healthy avenue to work through that feeling and learn to appreciate your partner just as they are.
Financial infidelity has become a thing. Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in a relationship. If you and your partner have a joint account or are serious about building a life together, you need to be honest about your finances. Before you make a big purchase, let your partner know. If you’ve got loans and debts hanging over your head, tell them. Keeping secrets or lying about financial matters is a big deal, and getting therapy can help you address the problem appropriately.
You’re contemplating tying the knot. Even though it may not seem like it, marriage is a huge transformation to undergo. It helps to go into it with the right mindset, expectations, and intentions. A little therapy can help you build a solid foundation, prepare you for that next step, and save you so many arguments down the road.
You can’t compromise on an important issue. You won’t always agree with your partner on everything. Sometimes, you’ll find yourselves on opposite ends of a heated bated, with either party unwilling to budge on their stand. This difference in opinions could be about having kids, how to spend your money, where to live, etc. With a little help from a therapist, you may see things from a new perspective, push past your viewpoint, and find a way to meet in the middle.