How often do you fantasize about taking off to live a completely different life elsewhere? Do you always feel like if you could change something about your love life, the way you look, or the job you have, you’d be much happier and content? Do you get a nagging sensation that you’re missing out on something better? If you checked yes to all this, you might be suffering from grass is greener syndrome.
It’s a byproduct of uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear. You feel that what you already have isn’t as good as what you might get elsewhere. You fall into the trap of comparing your relationship or life in general to that of other people. You think theirs is perfect and it makes you want to throw away your current life and go searching for something better.
Accept that perfection is a myth. Nobody’s life is as perfect as you think it is. Even Beyonce has flaws. If you’re constantly chasing perfection, the race will never end. You might think that falling in love with someone else, losing weight, or quitting your job will help you be happy. But what happens when it doesn’t, or when the initial excitement wears off and you realize something is still missing?
Practice gratitude and positive thinking. Instead of picking out and obsessing over everything you think is wrong with your life, try looking at the good. Thinking the grass is greener on the other side prevents you from seeing how wonderful it actually is where you are. If you’re intentional about being grateful, you’ll discover the true value of the things you already have.
Stop living in the future. A classic sign of grass is greener syndrome is spending too much time thinking about the future and the ways it could make you happier than you are now. You neglect the present and it becomes harder to enjoy the moments in front of you. Instead of holding out for things that might not happen, try to delight in the now. You might realize you already had what you needed to be happy all along.
Face your fears head-on. What do you think is the root of your grass is greener syndrome? Most of the time, the longing and dissatisfaction you feel stem from internal issues, not external factors. Don’t just go running after the next best thing without trying to understand your motivations. You might be self-sabotaging or perpetuating some other toxic subconscious ideal that you need to confront. Consider seeking professional help to help you figure things out.
Kill the habit of over-complaining. Sometimes life gives us things to complain about, but it’s not normal to complain about everything, every time. If you’re constantly finding faults with your job, your partner’s behavior, your friends, then you need to work on that. Negativity only breeds more negativity. Remember that and stop trying to corrupt the good in your life by focusing on the little imperfections.
Don’t make life-changing decisions on an impulse. It can be hard to resist the intensity and pull of grass is greener syndrome. It diminishes your ability to think rationally and weigh your options before reaching a decision. If you become consumed by the desire to abandon your relationship or job in search of something else that’ll make you happier, acting on it immediately might lead to regrets. The hurt and disappointment that comes from ruining a good thing for the sake of artificial happiness are hard to live down.
Move from an “if only” to an “I will” mindset. Everyone takes comfort in fantasies and wishful thinking every now and then, but constantly reiterating that you’d prefer if things were different is linked with grass is greener syndrome, especially if you’re not doing anything to make the dream a reality. If you want more excitement in your love life, communicate that with your partner. Try new things, make your own adventure. You’re not going to be happier if you don’t strive towards it.
Write down your goals and plan towards it. What is it you most admire about that couple on Instagram that is absent from your own relationship? What are those things in your life that are not going right? What do you want to change about yourself? Write out all the things you think you’re missing out on and start making small moves to help you achieve them. The grass may indeed be greener somewhere else, but tending to your own lawn could help it flourish better.