In relationships, there’s always a fine line between giving the other person space they need and allowing the relationship to fizzle out by retreating too far. Since we guys are such fickle creatures, many women often wonder if keeping your distance, at least temporarily, will make your boyfriend miss you and want to work harder to keep you. Here’s a guy’s perspective on what you should do to get this result.
- Make a clean break. If you want to give a guy space and take a break from the relationship, it has to be a clean break. After all, if you want a guy to miss you, you have to give him a chance to. That means no contact or communication for a period of time. It doesn’t have to be an official breakup anything as dramatic as that, but it needs to be clear that you’re going to back off and give him space.
- Let him know you’re still there for him. You need to make a clean break, but that doesn’t mean completely disappearing from his life. You also don’t want to leave things vague because that will confuse him and think that it’s over. Be clear that you’re going to back off a little and give him space but that if he wants or needs you for anything, you’re there.
- Take a break when he starts to pull away. The best time to give a guy space is when you start to feel him pulling away. It’s his way of letting you know that he needs space in the relationship. Rather than trying to cling to him, let him know that you’re willing to give take a step back yourself. This can be your way of sacrificing and doing what’s best for him. There’s a good chance he’ll eventually realize that and start to miss you.
- Be sincere but don’t be hurt. Admittedly, your feelings might be a little hurt if you sense that a guy needs some time away from you, but you can’t let him know that you’re hurt or bitter about it. If he senses this, he’ll get frustrated and start to lose faith in the relationship. You have to come across as sincere in wanting to give him what he needs.
- Appear happy. If you can’t be happy, then at least try to be content. Whether it’s through friends or social media, he’ll eventually try to find out how you’re doing if you decided to back off for a bit. You don’t want to let him know that you’re upset and melancholy. This is the time to focus on yourself and your own happiness outside of the relationship. Remember that most guys want to be with someone who’s happy and smiles a lot just as you want an upbeat parner. If he checks up on your social media and sees you smiling and enjoying life, he’ll be more likely to miss you and get your relationship back on track.
- You must trust him. In the end, all relationships boil down to trust. Giving a guy space isn’t going to work if you don’t trust him. Trust that he cares about you and will miss you if you two spend some time apart. If you don’t believe that will happen, he’s probably not the right guy for you anyway.
- Don’t worry about what he’s doing. Needless to say, this goes hand-in-hand with trust. Keep in mind that you’re both getting space from the relationship. Focus on yourself and not what he’s doing during this time. If you’re trying to check up on him, it’s a sign that you don’t trust him. If he finds out, he isn’t going to miss you and be excited to come back to the relationship. Just step back and allow things to play out.
- Know when it’s been enough time. He may start to miss you if you give him space, but that doesn’t mean he’ll come crawling back to you. As I mentioned above, let him know that he can contact you at any time, but you should also have a timeline in mind for when you make the first move and try to reconnect. Obviously, you don’t want that to be too soon. But you also don’t want to wait too long because he might think it’s over and move on. There is a fine line between missing you and forgetting about you.