Does He Deserve You?

Does He Deserve You? ©iStock/Georgijevic

When you’re all googly-eyed and newly in lust with a guy, it can be hard to look at the situation (and him) objectively to know whether or not it’s actually worth pursuing. Before you go throwing your heart around recklessly, make sure he’s worth it by asking yourself these questions and paying close attention to the answers:

  1. Is he considerate? Does he listen to you when you talk? Does he remember the important things? Is he good to you? If he’s not, then you need to let him go now before you get in too deep. You don’t want someone who doesn’t treat you like the amazing woman that you are.
  2. Does he respect you? This is beyond important, but sometimes women ignore little warning signs to the contrary. If a partner does not respect you, there is no future for the two of you. Bottom line. It’ll never work out. He must treat you as an equal, valuable, human being whom he just so happens to be dating.
  3. Does he respect others? It’s not just about you. He may be great in the beginning, but how he acts towards other people is a good indicator of his true character. It’s easy to show your good side in the very beginning of a relationship. Watch how he behaves with family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. You want someone who doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else.
  4. Does he respect himself? You are a strong, independent, fully-formed woman. You want an equal partner. Don’t give your love to a boy who is insecure, self-loathing, and wrapped up in his own neuroses. There’s no time for that crap. If he doesn’t respect himself, he can’t truly respect anything else… including you.
  5. Is he goal-oriented? He doesn’t have to have a ten-year plan, but some sort of life goal is essential — even if that goal is just to live in the present and receive what comes his way with open arms. You want someone with ambition – not just to further himself professionally. That’s the least important part, and yet the one that most people focus on. You want a guy who is committed deeply to furthering himself personally and constantly growing as an individual.
  6. Does he have vision? Is he lost in the past or looking forward to the future? You want a man who sees things long-term. He won’t freak out if you have a disagreement or a fight because he knows that’s only a small part of the entire scope of the relationship. He’s in it for the long term, and sees a real future — not only for his own life, but his life with you. Don’t give your love to someone who spazzes over the little crap.
  7. Are you two actually compatible? This doesn’t mean that you both like Mexican food and margaritas. Who doesn’t like that? It has to be something much, much deeper. You’re in sync when it comes to priorities and future goals. You fit together naturally and your life together is an obvious choice. You wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t set yourself up for failure by falling for someone who doesn’t want the same things that you do. It’ll come back to bite you in the ass.
  8. Does he treat you like you’re amazing? You are. Hopefully you think he’s amazing too, and you want to give him your love because of that. Just make sure it’s not one-sided. If he doesn’t appreciate what he has in you and treat you like you’re special — and that means ALWAYS, not just for the first three months … then you can do better. There is big love out there. Go find it.
  9. Does he accept you for who you are? Treating you like you’re amazing doesn’t mean he has some fantasy idea of you being a perfect person. It means he sees everything about you and finds beauty in all of it, no matter how ugly you might find it. He adores all of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is real love, girl, and if you have this, you should go for it!
  10. Is he a grown man? Does he take care of his crap, and own his mistakes? Does he go about his life with quiet assurance, because a mature guy doesn’t need to spout off about his little accomplishments? He has them every day — they’re no big deal. He has nothing to overcompensate for because he knows who he is and what he wants. This guy is surprisingly difficult to find, so keep him.
  11. Is he giving and loving? Choose the dude who isn’t afraid to show how he feels and express affection. He knows that a real man isn’t embarrassed to love. Life is too short to hide your emotions and act all tough. If he is open about his feelings, not only towards you but everyone else in his life, then you should give him a real chance. Don’t fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing about how he feels about you and the other people close to him.
  12. Does he love you the way you deserve? If he loves you, truly and honestly, you’ll know it. There’ll be no weird games, no guessing, and no need to worry. If you have room to doubt then it isn’t the love you want. If you’re going to give your precious heart over to someone, you need to know for sure that he is going to treat it with the utmost respect and appreciation. Don’t take anything less.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at